Friday, September 25, 2009

What do you think?

I remember watching a Russell Peters stand up act.. He was speaking about how the media puts ideas into your mind, without you even realizing wat is going on. I was in splits as he gave his examples.. The first one was of showing really angry arabs hurling abuses at US and then showing the 9/11 attacks.. And he says the media questions implicitly,


"What do ya think?"


Taking the same thought forward, here are few grouped (hypothetical) headlines based on Mr. Kirsten's popular (with the players anyway!) dossier encouraging them to indulge in activities that cause flowers to rub together, the sun to set and the camera to go out of focus.

Gary Kirsten suggests sex to improve performance.
Ever-diligent Gambhir out with a groin strain!!


What do you think?

Gary Kirsten suggests sex to improve performance.
Dravid really excited about being back in the team.


What do you think?

Gary Kirsten suggests sex to improve performance.
Dhoni emphasizes on "Team-work"!!


What do you think?


One way or the other.. I hope the guys stay on top... er... in the rankings, that is.

Monday, September 21, 2009

O-numb! celebrations

My mom insisted i join her for the Onam celebration held here by one of the mallu associations. Now, I have almost never enjoyed them, coz they are the second most boring affairs, after
1. The meetings i attend on a daily basis and
2. Lux Perfect Bride..

And I sure wasn't planning to invest 4 hrs to hear out-of-tune singing, have an insipid lunch and return after having gone over my academic background, current occupation and answering the ever challenging "where.. ..in 5 yrs?" question, over 40 times... I declined. She asked again. I declined. She pulled out the heavy artillery with the emosanal atyachar "Can't you come along for my sake?" I declined, asking if she'd go front row for a rock concert, just for my sake... silence ensued....

But with Nano and all the sleepless nights mom has, taking care of her, i agreed.. Plus my i-call-her-aunt aunt and her niece (I went to watch my aunt.. not her niece, just to clarify!) were in a couple of traditional dances, which i did wanna see.. and she requested me to get it recorded. So, handy-cam in tow, i set out.. braving the prospect of yawning my jaws off, once the dances are done. The traditional dances are always nice, and the other performances are well, as much excitement as a Namibia - Bermuda cricket encounter held in Turkmenistan..

But boy! Was i wrong! The entire programme was awesome. There was tons of participation from the kids, and suddenly, the average age of a participant had plummeted from 65 to 15! The opening prayer was awesome, followed by excellent Kaikottikalli.. followed by an array of stunning fusion numbers, a drama, 2 classical dance renditions.. all ending in an awesome gala, which had even the senior-most grooving and jiving a-la Travolta.

The only part of the program that gave me that sinking feeling "uh oh.. back to ol' times" was when the chief guests landed on the dais. The chief guest list was as long as a voting list from a small town, and the emcee merely scanned the audience and invited more people on-stage. I ducked under his radar (not that i was running a risk, but who wants to take a chance!) and counted around 5 C.Gs on-stage..

5 minutes and the stage had some 10 senior mallus, a lawyer, a social worker, a journalist, a smiling firangi (from the Czech Consulate) who looked like he could bring down a building with a sneeze (6'6", maybe more and built like an army tank) and a bunch of guys running around with mics, all of them with a love for the mic that is touching to see. Most of the guys rattled off Malayalam that left the veterans scouring through their dictionaries, me scratching my head, the firangi still wearing the same smile, searching for a cue to begin clapping, and the rest of the people dazed. Enter the chiefest chief guest.. Some principal of some college.

30-something... And as he adjusted the mic and started to speak, some 5000 kms away.. in a graveyard  in Athens... Socrates' was beside himself in joy yelling "Theres 2 of us! Theres 2 of us!" I didn't quite get this reincarnates name.. so anyway, my man Sock-rats went on and on and on, while the audience shut their dictionaries, relaxed on their chair and started to snooze. His subject was about how technology had altered inter-personal relations and how nothing is permanent. Well, at that precise moment, his speaking did seem to be, and given the couple of mythological dramas I had just seen, I was praying hard for a Pralayam of sorts.. My ears were going numb from the onslaught, and i still cant feel them as i write this... Hmm.. thats strange, can we really not feel our ears or has he done some permanent damage?

When i was elbowed out of my slumber by mom 15 minutes later i heard him say "So to conclude..". All the senior mallus were looking for signs of lunch, the kids were curled up in a corner, fast asleep and the firangi was still wearing the same smile on his face coupled with a look of sheer determination as he fought away every yawn that creeped up on him. 10 minutes passed.. Some sections of the audience began clapping, and finally.. oh finally! he let go of the mic. I'm pretty sure some one in the audience brandished a knife or held out a gun or a rocked launcher or something! Slow-gun Murugun seemed to have saved the day! Mr. Vocal Diarrhoea wore the look of a kid who had been robbed off his candy, waved ta-ra and got back into his Neelkamal chair.

Hard to tell if the firangi was smiling thinking of this character he had encountered or whether it was the original smile. Ah darn, my long term memory sucks and I can't recall the original smile! But anyway, he nevertheless smiled..

The meals were just about OK.... but boy oh boy, what an entertaining day i'd had.. Nice dances.. a long nap and then some more awesome performances from the kids... This celebration is something i will look forward to next yr!

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Social Vibe

Guys, I have added this social vibe toolbar at the bottom of my blog page.. All you need to do is watch a video and rate it, and in return the sponsoring company will donate Micro Nutrients to the World Food Programme charity..  The donation per view of video is Micro Nutrients for a week..

So pls, spare some time and help in this charity..

Here is the message I got from blogger..
 In honor of Blogger's 10th anniversary, we are excited to announce that you can now use your blogs to create positive, measurable social change. By adding the SocialVibe gadget to your blog, you'll be turning brand dollars into real charitable donations for the cause of your choice..
...and remember, you don't raise money by taking money out of your pocket—or your audience's—but rather by getting your readers to engage with your SocialVibe gadget

Iss TV se mujhe bachao

It was around 10.30 and i got a call from Aanchal. Her first question as i er.. eagerly answered the phone was
"Hey, whatcha doing?"
I replied "Watching iss jungle se...".
Her curious voice prodded "Why?"

I tell ya..16 yrs of education, 4 yrs of engineering and bluffing my ass off in vivas, doing much the same in all the status meetings i attend these days and all i could come up with was "Dunno.."

At that precise moment, i felt the helplessness A-jinx-yeah feels when he faces up to Shreeshant's hapless seam bowling! I guess there must be some such thing as getting addicted to something that makes you want to pull out each hair on ur arm, smile through the ordeal and come back for some more!!! Oh wait, thats waxing and something girls do all the time.. So well, its like.. like.. er.. pulling out your eyebrows.. er not this as well.. er.. its like.. ... ... damn you girls!


Coming back to Iss jungle se, it is touching to watch people eat worms and have snakes crawl up their trousers for the sake of their families.. I mean Chetan gobbling up worms quicker than i could ever gobble up chicken does cry out "Anything for you son" much louder than it cries "Anything for you money". His priorities are something I understand and respect.. But why on earth is he maligning Superman and Spider man... The guy  screams out "I am Spider Man" with pride on his face commonly found amongst Nobel laureates.. I think he has taken the Spider bit in Spider Man a little too seriously.. Look bro, despite being "Spider" man, Peter Parker eats burgers and sandwiches.. He does the shooting webs and crawling up buildings part, but he doesn't prey on worms and flies. Take a cue..

Oh, and yeah.. If Yuck-as-beep had a rupee for each time he cussed angrily... He would have been one rich *&$#*&#$##$#&*

This reality TV crap is the in thing right now.. Every channel has 10 on air.. From abusing bikes to abusing fellow contestants, reality television seems to be catching on.. Most channels are neck and neck with the TRPs.. Except Star Plus, who are head and shoulders above the others.. The reason you ask? The package deal I say... Mind It!

Now here is the package deal - Be a contestant on Sach ka Saamna, strip naked in front of a million television viewers (yeah, the Star guys paid me to put down that figure.. left to me, I'd count 7.. no, 5) get that happy marriage on the rocks, and move to the adjacent studio for the shoot of Aap Ki Kachehri with Kiran Bedi, where you can discuss the secret bank accounts, countless girlfriends and aborted pregnancies you willingly declared...

Last I heard, they are planning to launch a match-making show to preceed Sach ka Saamna.. Thats when its really gonna get crazy! The family court in Bandra is gonna be one helluva busy place!