Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Warming up...

On this trip to Kerala, I travelled second sleeper, and while that isn't generally a good thing given the funny smells in the tunnels, it is particularly good if you wanna meet some interesting characters, or if the people you are travelling with are deodorantly impaired, in which case you'd eargerly await the tunnel...

I reached the station quite early, and was in a different compartment than the rest of my group. The plan was to swap seats with some other passenger so that I could travel with my group. I was seated, looking out of the window, when this decent looking young chap - hair combed back with a generous portion of coconut oil, chandan tikka on his forehead and a token mustache (Token because it was a thin one... hard to spot against his dark skin) approached me..

"40... Aaa... here here... come" Then pointing... "Are you sitting saar?"

Looking around "Apparently.." hehe..
"Eh?"
"Yes, yes, I am sitting" Whats wrong with me?? "Er.. this is my seat..."
"Saar this is my anti sir.. She is in other side of the coach... Can you please eschange sir?"
Anti? Why is she anti?
"Er... OK... but is it a reserved berth?"
"Yes sir.. Completely reserved. See actually sir, she wants to sleep with me.. or any other man from the family begoz my uncle is not there... and she always sleeps with someone or the other when she travels..."
My eyes nearly popped out!!! You know you look at a person and can never say.... I am surely anti-her...

"Uh! I mean, yeah sure, I'll move.."


I promptly moved out. I didn't wanna risk her making her moves on me... A young, handsome, charming, intelligent and accessible (Mr. Potharaju, make your gal pals read this line 3 times over) guy on his way to scrub his paaps off... The berth i moved to happened to be a side berth, and sitting opposite me was a very earnest looking chap who had his back pack clutched tightly against his er... bosom.

"Hi.. I just moved here from 40" Pointing to the other end of the coach..
"Aa"

Now mallus know all about this "aa". Most south indians do in fact.
Northies, "aaaa'" is like a wild card. Other than its use as a filler, it could mean
1. Yes -  "aa" (very brief)
2. Ability to understand - "aa" (very brief, repeated with shaking of head like we'd say 'no')
3. Showing recognition -  "aaaa" (high pitch)
4. Showing circumspection -  "aaaa" (low pitch)

Silence....
"I aam into durbines disine.. Jusdai came faar interview"
"oh.. cleared it?"
"aaaa" (low pitch) "aa.. I think thaad should be ogay"
"Nice..."



Just then the pantry guy came over...
"Rise.. Lunge"
I was about to.. then stopped "No, my group has made arrangements for me.."
Mr. Durbine: "aa.. rice... saat mein zimble mein kya ae"
Sounds like hindi... Hard to tell...

"wet-a-bull?"
WET-A-BULL??? What the hells that?
I scanned my mallu vocab.. Vetta means cut... but bull? er.. should i ask him.. Naah, let Mr. Durbine here ask him...
"aa.. aa.. wet-a-bull baiya"
Baiya.. hehe...

10 mins of wondering, and almost asking Mr. Durbine what wet-a-bull was and the pantry guy comes over, gives the guy a vegetable - rice meal, and leaves...

I went looking for my group.. I soo needed to laugh..