Blog Award

It was a regular day at work.. which means i was bored, sleepy and eagerly looking out of the window hoping for a downpour that'd put 26-July to shame... Just so I can get out of this 'Hell with flourescent lights and centralized AC' i call office... With nothing better to do, i logged onto FB from my 'cell'..

Nupur Bhayani wrote on your wall

Umm.. Maybe i need to write something more about Aanchal I thought.. How much more can i cook up...

hey ive given u a blog award.... pls chk mine to accept it!

I havent really got any awards, and my trophy cabinet closely resembles Ajinkya Rahane's... So, understandably i was ecstatic and almost threw my mouse skywards in celebration... But whats a 'blog award'? Maybe she's on a panel or something.. Last i checked, she was a student, a blogger, a short story writer, a novelist, a poet.. All rolled into a pocket sized edition... And i was sure there was just about enough place to squeeze in a panelist in there as well..

I logged onto her blog to find the grand trophy awaiting me.. ... ... ...

A picture
An unpaid appearance in Sach ka Saamna and
An assignment to cough up 10 blogs i read...

10!!?? I read only one - mine!!

To quote from her blog...

...list down 10 truths about yourselves and pass it on to 10 different people...!!!

...and your wish will come true on the 3rd day of the next month.. Or else you will face bad luck for 3 yrs... ;)

So anyway... Here are 10 truths about me.... Well, more like 10 things that popped into my mind, which are true..

1. I am an engineering student from Vidyalankar Institute of Technology.. Not Vidyalankar Classes, but IoT... and no, thats not doing engineering 'private'...
2. I am the 3rd most lazy person.. After Mr. Breathless and Nupur that is... (she's given me an award for cryin-out-loud... Yes, that is an award! Anyway, the least i can do is not contest what she has to say about being lazy)
3. I used to dislike meetings.. Now i hate them!
4. The intelligent, attractive, beautiful (non 377-ers) ladies go weak in their knees when I am around
Darn... I can NEVER EVER pass that off as true, can I!!
so...
4. I love my music and listen to it for 4 or 5 hours a day... (No wise cracks here)
5. My hindi is pathetic and my english just about reaches the level of a 3rd grader... Conversations with novelists and umm.. Aanchal-ists have me reaching for the dictionary once every 29.93 seconds (on an average)
6. I hate my job (much like Chandler) but luckily don't need to stare at an ANUS (thats Annual Net Usage Statistics for the uninitiated) I have to stare at a person who is trying his very best to put me to sleep...
7. I love cars, which is only way to explain why i drive an Indica Diesel... (which is a brilliant car, if you planning to buy it from me..)
8. I started to blog because Aanchal thought i could write well and i wanted to prove her wrong. Well, so far so good.
9. I laugh and find reasons to laugh, coz i look better laughing than sulking...
10. I really appreciate Nupur picking my blog amongst the millions of other better blogs she reads...

Now, i don't have 10 blogs to put up here... So i give out 4
1. Timepass Of India - amazingly funny.. reminds me of my style of writing.. hehe
2. Aanchal - A wonderfully honest and refreshing blog.. wait.. or was it insightful and poetic?? Never mind, this ones from the heart.. Good stuff!
3. Nupur - (dunno if i can give this back to her... but anyway...) some of her posts are a little too long for me.. but she writes the best opening and closing paras ;)
4. Keshava - a total mixed bag this one.. posts range from urdu poetry to failed attempts in the kitchen, both of which i dont understand...

Congrats winners.. It was a bit by default, but then i read only the best :)

IT Meetings

Its 9.30 AM on a Monday and the steaming hot dosas i had for breakfast have kicked in and my eyelids seem to be putting on weight. I am, of course, in a meeting.. and if you are even somewhat familiar with the concept you would appreciate that of all the things you can do in a meeting, sleeping is not one of them. Especially when there are only 4 attendees. So I am looking straight at the chair of the meeting, and thinking, Wow! this is soo not a good time to fall asleep.. But i need to do something to stay awake. Maybe i should give my body bursts of 'eyes shut' time.. Coz really, sleeping is all about blinking reaaaalllyyy slowly... But how? Umm.. Be natural Vinod.. Thats the key... Blink slowly.... Yes... Oooh.. feels so good to have my eyes shut.. Is my manager looking at me? DAMN! DAMN! HE IS.. ABORT SLEEP.. EYES OPEN.. NECK STRAIGHTEN UP!!! SAY SOMETHING!!!!


"Aila!"

Something related to the discussion Mr. Einstein!
"I mean.... Ai.. I love this approach" Brilliant!
"Ok, then you take ownership for this task"
NAHEEE!


Meetings have such a soporific effect.. and the degree of sleepiness is in direct proportion to how much trouble you will get into if you do sleep. But just to clear the air for those with a non-IT background... And to my IT brethren, I am sorry i'm letting out this closely guarded secret.. But when an IT chap is having a meeting, he is either rambling on about something others dont care a donkey's tashreef for or is doing what i described in the opening para..Basically, he is killing time.

Again, i am in a mood to share with my readers today.. So, here is a glossary of IT terms, commonly heard in meetings, and what they really mean.. You will find it handy if you are serious about one of these meetings...

1. Take a call
Usage: I had to take a call and......
This phrase is used to convey that i know as much about the topic as i do about the Economy of Somalia (About which, you can read here... :) ) and the decision making was based on the time tested Inky Pinky Ponkey method.... and here the 'Father' in question is mine, and i am his only child. Hehehe..

2. Discuss offline
Usage: I think we should discuss this offline
This is the ultimate shield available to a speaker during a meeting... Once the speaker says this, you can be sure that he has followed the link above and that he is indeed more comfortable discussing the economy of somalia than your question.

3. Take ownership
Usage: I have taken a call on this and Vinod, you take ownership
Yeah, n go where? Anyway..
This means that you are the official scapegoat... You will soon realize that the hair on the back of your neck can sway as your manager breathes down it. And when the task is finally done, you are given the chance to applaud the visionary who assigned you this task. Brilliant!

4. Doosre way mein present karna...
Usage: Ruk.. shayad tumko clarity nahi aaya.. mein doosre way mein present karta hoon
Here the doosra, much like Murali's, is something no one follows, and finally, look like jokers trying to make sense of. The speaker doesnt know what he is talking about, and any questioning of this doosra will incur the 'Discuss offline' from Pt. 2



Hmm.. there is only so much i can document.. the rest need to be experienced.. LIVE!


PS:I think that this is amongst the most brilliiant pieces of text i could have put together... coz i have so effectively conveyed the sleepy nature of meetings that i am sure that most of the readers are already asleee...zzzzzz...