My Name is Can't (act, that is!)

SRK and his fans please skip this post (Yeah, i believe SRK is an invisible follower of this blog)

So I went to watch My Name is Khan... All the controversy about the film made the democrat inside me wake up and take notice. I didn't see anything wrong in what SRK had said, and wanted to express solidarity by watching the film. Having said that, I'm no brave-heart, and I tread towards the box office with caution, despite there being more cops there than movie goers. Besides, the film had a 5 star rating from TOI!

5 stars??? boss, watch this movie and you will realize it's time TOI gets blacklisted; they should be, for giving MNIK a 5 star rating. But then maybe they meant the 5 rupees 5-Star.. coz this movie is worth only those 5 bucks. I guess Shiv Sainiks got a sneak preview of this film and decided Mumbai-kars should not be subjected to this.. And boy, if I ever catch hold of the reviewer, I'm gonna feed him some of the food from my canteen! That oughta teach him! But you never know, if he has loved the film, he may just enjoy it!

The movie is awfully boring... slow.. and goes no where... it felt much like being constipated.. You just sit there, while nothing much happens. You are hopeful that fortunes will change and that something will please you, but are disappointed time and again, as you go through an ordeal! SRK tries to portray the aspie something something syndrome patient, but comes across as comical, at best. He speaks like a robot for no apparent reason, freaks out like he'd seen Karan Johar in bed with a girl from time to time, and generally seems a total misfit.

Apparently, he is supposed to have trouble socializing and in recognizing and displaying emotions. If this is the character they wanted to portray, they should have roped in Chandrachur Singh.... it would have come to him naturally.. And if they wanted to cast someone to fall in love with a looney, then they should have roped in one of those contestants from that reality show.. some dimwit getting married.. what's the name of that chap?? Well, i guess you know! But, to their credit, I did feel like I was inflicted with Asperger's syndrome... there was no interesting point in the film I wanted to discuss, I felt no emotions except an overwhelming sense of boredom, and in general, I was clumsy with my popcorn coz I was dozing off!

Picture this... SRK zips across the US of A to save a family in the eye of hurricane Katrina. His immediate friends and family also have no trouble reaching the eye of the storm.. They see him on TV, and bang! two seconds later, they are wading through waist deep water.. risking their lives (???).. with rations in hand. You know what they say... No hurricane shall keep thy protagonist and anyone important in thy plot away from ground-zero. And while Mr. Khan, who by the way, is not a terrorist and co. hastily rebuild the threatening-to-collapse church, no one thinks of evacuating these chaps using the same hurricane resistant mode of transport they used to get there faster than a speeding train! (One of those high-speed French ones, not our 80 kmph Virar fast)

In the end, they show SRK meeting, what looked to be a guy acting like Obama.. hard to say.. the actor had way too much personality!

My name is Krishnadas, and I am not gonna watch another SRK-KJ combo.

Iss TV se mujhe bachao

It was around 10.30 and i got a call from Aanchal. Her first question as i er.. eagerly answered the phone was
"Hey, whatcha doing?"
I replied "Watching iss jungle se...".
Her curious voice prodded "Why?"

I tell ya..16 yrs of education, 4 yrs of engineering and bluffing my ass off in vivas, doing much the same in all the status meetings i attend these days and all i could come up with was "Dunno.."

At that precise moment, i felt the helplessness A-jinx-yeah feels when he faces up to Shreeshant's hapless seam bowling! I guess there must be some such thing as getting addicted to something that makes you want to pull out each hair on ur arm, smile through the ordeal and come back for some more!!! Oh wait, thats waxing and something girls do all the time.. So well, its like.. like.. er.. pulling out your eyebrows.. er not this as well.. er.. its like.. ... ... damn you girls!


Coming back to Iss jungle se, it is touching to watch people eat worms and have snakes crawl up their trousers for the sake of their families.. I mean Chetan gobbling up worms quicker than i could ever gobble up chicken does cry out "Anything for you son" much louder than it cries "Anything for you money". His priorities are something I understand and respect.. But why on earth is he maligning Superman and Spider man... The guy  screams out "I am Spider Man" with pride on his face commonly found amongst Nobel laureates.. I think he has taken the Spider bit in Spider Man a little too seriously.. Look bro, despite being "Spider" man, Peter Parker eats burgers and sandwiches.. He does the shooting webs and crawling up buildings part, but he doesn't prey on worms and flies. Take a cue..

Oh, and yeah.. If Yuck-as-beep had a rupee for each time he cussed angrily... He would have been one rich *&$#*&#$##$#&*

This reality TV crap is the in thing right now.. Every channel has 10 on air.. From abusing bikes to abusing fellow contestants, reality television seems to be catching on.. Most channels are neck and neck with the TRPs.. Except Star Plus, who are head and shoulders above the others.. The reason you ask? The package deal I say... Mind It!

Now here is the package deal - Be a contestant on Sach ka Saamna, strip naked in front of a million television viewers (yeah, the Star guys paid me to put down that figure.. left to me, I'd count 7.. no, 5) get that happy marriage on the rocks, and move to the adjacent studio for the shoot of Aap Ki Kachehri with Kiran Bedi, where you can discuss the secret bank accounts, countless girlfriends and aborted pregnancies you willingly declared...

Last I heard, they are planning to launch a match-making show to preceed Sach ka Saamna.. Thats when its really gonna get crazy! The family court in Bandra is gonna be one helluva busy place!

This and that

Its been a dull week for me.. Nothing much happening basically... Its just work, work, pacify a crying baby and then work some more. I have been given a role upgrade which means that i can now assign tasks to others and take crucial decisions such as when they will reach office and when they get to go home. So far they are pretty happy, except for an attempt on my life and a lot more cussing that is audible to me.. I can't help it really. I dont get to decide the target.. My manager gives me an unrealistic target, and I give him unrealistic claim vouchers.. Tit for tat!

So anyway, I realized that in all my posts, i had never really introduced myself.. So here goes.. I'm Vinod... Vinod Krishnadas.. Mumbai-kar born into a mallu family.. 24 yrs old (if it is still 2009 :) ) and working.. I own a car and live largely on sponsorships, mainly from my principal sponsor - a Non-Profit Institution that is my dad. I fancied being a stand up comedian but was told to sit down, hence the job in IT. I think i'm a run-of-the-mill guy, with an average everything (except a marginally (we'll argue later) above average waist-line and marginally below average intelligence) Aanchal begs to differ on the latter.. But then, i haven't even met her formally. She'll have plenty of opportunity to change.. er.. correct her opinion.. No one can argue about the former.

I'm uncomfortable talking about myself.. and am gonna close this post here..

Till I can think of a topic.. Cya

PS: Suggestions are welcome.