Friday, February 12, 2010

My Name is Can't (act, that is!)

SRK and his fans please skip this post (Yeah, i believe SRK is an invisible follower of this blog)

So I went to watch My Name is Khan... All the controversy about the film made the democrat inside me wake up and take notice. I didn't see anything wrong in what SRK had said, and wanted to express solidarity by watching the film. Having said that, I'm no brave-heart, and I tread towards the box office with caution, despite there being more cops there than movie goers. Besides, the film had a 5 star rating from TOI!

5 stars??? boss, watch this movie and you will realize it's time TOI gets blacklisted; they should be, for giving MNIK a 5 star rating. But then maybe they meant the 5 rupees 5-Star.. coz this movie is worth only those 5 bucks. I guess Shiv Sainiks got a sneak preview of this film and decided Mumbai-kars should not be subjected to this.. And boy, if I ever catch hold of the reviewer, I'm gonna feed him some of the food from my canteen! That oughta teach him! But you never know, if he has loved the film, he may just enjoy it!

The movie is awfully boring... slow.. and goes no where... it felt much like being constipated.. You just sit there, while nothing much happens. You are hopeful that fortunes will change and that something will please you, but are disappointed time and again, as you go through an ordeal! SRK tries to portray the aspie something something syndrome patient, but comes across as comical, at best. He speaks like a robot for no apparent reason, freaks out like he'd seen Karan Johar in bed with a girl from time to time, and generally seems a total misfit.

Apparently, he is supposed to have trouble socializing and in recognizing and displaying emotions. If this is the character they wanted to portray, they should have roped in Chandrachur Singh.... it would have come to him naturally.. And if they wanted to cast someone to fall in love with a looney, then they should have roped in one of those contestants from that reality show.. some dimwit getting married.. what's the name of that chap?? Well, i guess you know! But, to their credit, I did feel like I was inflicted with Asperger's syndrome... there was no interesting point in the film I wanted to discuss, I felt no emotions except an overwhelming sense of boredom, and in general, I was clumsy with my popcorn coz I was dozing off!

Picture this... SRK zips across the US of A to save a family in the eye of hurricane Katrina. His immediate friends and family also have no trouble reaching the eye of the storm.. They see him on TV, and bang! two seconds later, they are wading through waist deep water.. risking their lives (???).. with rations in hand. You know what they say... No hurricane shall keep thy protagonist and anyone important in thy plot away from ground-zero. And while Mr. Khan, who by the way, is not a terrorist and co. hastily rebuild the threatening-to-collapse church, no one thinks of evacuating these chaps using the same hurricane resistant mode of transport they used to get there faster than a speeding train! (One of those high-speed French ones, not our 80 kmph Virar fast)

In the end, they show SRK meeting, what looked to be a guy acting like Obama.. hard to say.. the actor had way too much personality!

My name is Krishnadas, and I am not gonna watch another SRK-KJ combo.

11 comments:

  1. :) tks...
    needed some place to vent out my frustration..

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  2. he he ...the best review so far...only two things are possible here...

    1. Mr. Vinod has joined Shiv Sena and this is a new way of protesting... &

    2.The Review written here is correct...

    and i dont like number 1...

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  3. no chance of me joining them.. me a southie.. and u never knw when the lungi hatao campaign will be thawed from the deep freezer.. :)

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  4. haha..nice..when I saw Shahrukh Khan retarded in the promos I thought this was a sequel of Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna :)

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  5. @anonymous: who is this, SRK?
    @Vineet: I'd much rather have watched Deshdrohi..

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  6. Following TOI ratings is not a good idea , based on my experience from last ten years they have always printed shit

    Never never never watch a Karan johar movie.

    And lastly I dont understand can an autistic person be creative . The movie was so pathetic all i saw was the first ten minutes and closed the window... Yeah i don't follow my own warnings but i got the punished.

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  7. it was a real better_hang_me_to_death_than_make_me_watch_this state...

    (bit too late a response here... but just read this post and was reminded of that seemingly unending torture that fortunately ended in 3 hours.. phew)

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