IPL 2010 wrap-up

It has been a long time since I posted something. And while most would believe it has something to do with my lack of time or hectic work schedules, it is not the case. I have, in fact, been investing my time following the IPL. Investing you ask? Like hell yeah, I say. Check out what I learnt -

1.    When someone told Lalchi Mo he was suited for the job, he took it too literally.

Well, here is the scene – Lalchi is at Chennai's Chidambaram stadium… Its 39˚C but feels more like 139 due to the immense humidity… You take a look around, 40,000 cheering fans… 30 office bearers near him… 50 Journos, 15 commentators, countless celebs, 6 immensely hot (in every sense of the word.. Yeah, sweaty too…) cheerleaders… and yet he is not bothered by the fact that he is the only joker to have turned up in a suit. It is hot as hell, and he moves uncomfortably as sweat trickles into unmentionable places. But if its LM, he is either in a suit… or facing one… making him, the undisputed "suit-iya"

2.    Sachin and finals don't mix.

There is something about Sachin in a final that God doesn't enjoy. So you'll have fielders admiring each other (sick I tell you! Sick!) while the ball lands exactly between them, Zak dropping catches, and Abhishek Nayar not getting injured severely enough to ensure he doesn't play. But the master that Sachin is, always up for a challenge, he mocks the non-cricketing Gods, n says "Hey, look you… I am the cricketing God around here. And what you can do to screw up a cricket match, I can do better! HA!"

10 minutes of glaring between the cricketing and the non-cricketing Gods and then we see Abhishek Nayar leaving balls outside off stump, Bhajji coming up the order, Duminy getting preference over Pollard when you need 2.5 runs a ball and Amabati Raudu (all 5 feet of him) getting into an ego-war with Pollard (6'5") over a second run.

3.    Shit-do is best kept in solitary confinement – with his mouth taped up.

He has long surpassed the stage where he is boring; irritating even. In fact, I heard (unconfirmed news) that Mr. Venu Nair, from WSG, came clean on the money given after he was threatened that he would have to spend a day with Shit-do. Apparently, 5 minutes after the threat was made, he wept uncontrollably realizing his helplessness and confessed to receiving money.

A lot of my other observations are for mature audiences only, and do not find place here… Though this is hardly a blog you'd hear a father reading out to his kid, I like to ensure a (U) rating at all times.