As you guys already know... My name is Vinod... and my father's name
is Krishnadas. While most Mallus would be satisfied with this level of
information, the non mallus are already wondering what my surname is!
Well, I don't have a surname... I could add Nair or Menon at the end
of my name, but that's not really a surname. Ideally, if my mallu
roots could dictate my name, I would be just Vinod (maybe Vinoth!! I
actually had one mallu writing me an email calling me Vinoth!),
followed by my house name. But given that this type of naming (w.r.t
appending the house name) is no longer relevant (I mean Vinod
Block101D is hardly an ideal name) it leaves me with one field
(Surname) to fill in and a number of options to choose from... that's
always a fun scenario!
So, in my 10th standard form, I put in Krishnadas as my surname and
left my middle name blank. The supervisor called me out
Supervisor: "Why is this blank?"
Me: "I don't have a middle name"
"What's your father's name"
"Krishnadas"
"Oh, then it should be here... (pointing to the middle name field) not
there.. What is your surname then"
"Krishnadas"
"So, your father's name is Krishnadas Krishnadas??"
"No, its K Krishnadas"
"Whats K"
"Nothing, just K"
"Who the hell goes around with just 'K' for a name????"
"Its not his name.. its not like people would yell out to him 'hey K,
come here'"
"What is it then?"
"Its his house name"
"So whats his full name?"
"K Krishnadas"
By now the supervisor was sure I was trying to make her look like a
jackass.. so, angrily
"Put in whatever you want... just don't leave it blank!"
Happy about the little battle I had won, I put down my fathers name as
K. Cool name I thought. Just K.. Somehow it seems out of a 007 movie.
Agent K.
Now it's all well and good, me choosing my surname and what father's
name should be on the record. Trouble is, my sister chose differently!
So, as per records, our surnames and father's names don't exactly
match!
As if all this complication caused by lack of a surname wasn't enough,
we Nairs follow the matrilocal
system<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_matrilineal_or_matrilocal_societies>,
which means ideally, I should take my mother's house name after my own
name! Most Nairs abandoned this long back, coz when you are out of
Kerala, and provide different surnames for yourself and your father,
the clerk at the desk will put down his pen, think deeply for a
moment, shake his head ever so slightly and then look at you with
pity!
Coming back to adding house names into our names, its a wierd way to
merge your name and part of your postal address, and only a mallu
could have thought of it. Some other southie communities went
overboard with it and added village and district names as well,
landing up with names such as VVS Laxman. And I don't even want to
start about Sri Lankans!
We mallus are slowly discarding the house names but the mallu
fascination for house names never ceases. You know how you go to a
party and meet some one new.. You are like
"Hi I am Vinod"
"Hi! I'm Rajesh"
"Where do you work?"
"Oh I work at blah blah..."
and everything is happy.. hehehahahuhu
In a mallu scene, the first question you get after you announce your
name, is "Where is the house" and I'm like "Kalina" coz I am always
the smart wisecrack...and you should see the disappointment on them...
the fact that it wasn't immediately apparent to me that they were
asking for my house name (in Kerala) is so heartbreaking for them! The
next set of questions are mainly related to career and why you aren't
an MBA already... you get the drift.
All the confusion created notwithstanding, I love my name.. Krishnadas
sounds good as a surname and feels right. Its not the most common
surname you'd come across (unlike Nair or Menon) and plus it allowed
me to make that supervisor look like a jackass! (Evil laugh) :)
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Sing.. sing.. Singapore!
I reached Singapore exactly a month back.. 20th June... It been a month... Seems to have just flown past... I remember on the 18th my boss briefing me and the other guys, telling us "Its going to be challenging..." The moment I got onto that Air India flight, I knew the challenge had begun. I entered the flight to find an old woman dressed in a sari, glaring at me.. I scoffed at her, thinking Hmph! Grumpy Fliers... I looked around to find that there were more wearing similar saris.... All displaying varied levels of hostility.. I feared the woman in the sari would soon make me feel very sorry..
The in flight food was awesome and the flight was quite good actually... the service was not bad... Yes, I got no response when I pressed the Call Flight Attendant button, but at least they didn't hit me when I asked for a glass of juice or give me disapproving looks when I took a beer! The entertainment was well... Ajab Prem ki Gazab kahani, one episode from some English sitcom, and one episode of Tom and Jerry.. All in loop mode.. Of course, you could also listen to a single song for 5 hours and 20 minutes on the in flight radio, but the fake enthusiasm of the RJ had me reaching for the air sickness bag.
So here I am... in Singapore, missing family and friends but learning a lot about living in a foreign land. Its fun, but it leaves me with very little time to blog.. in fact I call home barely once in 3 days or so... The entire week whooshes past... But unlike in Mumbai, my weeks here are very structured.
My week is split into 3 parts -
Mon thru Friday - This part of the week is where I make it increasingly difficult for me to reach my bed. I do this by throwing around chargers, cups, chopsticks, headphones, cameras, pouches, clothes, hangers and basically any movable object. Soon the unswept floor is barely visible and by Friday night, getting to bed is a tricky task - a tiring exercise as I do combos of long jump, high jump... everything except the pole vault. Friday nights I sleep out of exhaustion.
Saturday - This day I become Mr. Tourist. I dig out my denims, cap and camera from underneath a pile of clothes and spend the day admiring Singapore, clicking pictures and having a blast.. I generally get home well past midnight and then stay up all night putting up pictures on FB!
Sunday -I wake up late... and not my daddy late (which is 8:15 BTW!) but L-A-T-E! 12:30 or 1 in the afternoon... Late start aside, this is by far the most tiring day of the week coz after cooking, cleaning the house and washing clothes, I need to tidy up my room and this is generally around the day of the week I miss mom the most.
But I am enjoying this a lot... Living as a bachelor is something every guys must do... Its just so much fun! And Singapore is easily amongst the best places to work in... Yes, Singapore is teaching me a lot of things.. I learn each day, the work is interesting and challenging, and I am having the time of my life roaming its streets... I learnt how the eat with chopsticks, how to make dal, and that mom does sooo much at home that I never realized..
But despite the joys of Singapore, I generally don't sleep very happy. There is a face I see which wets my eyes, I see that face each time I close my eyes, I dream of that face when I sleep, I even think of that face when I work... Nano... clinging to me on her birthday... fear in her eyes that mama will leave her side if she lets go.. Her face... a mixture of joy, excitement and happiness on seeing me, and an unknown fear.. Her face...
The in flight food was awesome and the flight was quite good actually... the service was not bad... Yes, I got no response when I pressed the Call Flight Attendant button, but at least they didn't hit me when I asked for a glass of juice or give me disapproving looks when I took a beer! The entertainment was well... Ajab Prem ki Gazab kahani, one episode from some English sitcom, and one episode of Tom and Jerry.. All in loop mode.. Of course, you could also listen to a single song for 5 hours and 20 minutes on the in flight radio, but the fake enthusiasm of the RJ had me reaching for the air sickness bag.
So here I am... in Singapore, missing family and friends but learning a lot about living in a foreign land. Its fun, but it leaves me with very little time to blog.. in fact I call home barely once in 3 days or so... The entire week whooshes past... But unlike in Mumbai, my weeks here are very structured.
My week is split into 3 parts -
Mon thru Friday - This part of the week is where I make it increasingly difficult for me to reach my bed. I do this by throwing around chargers, cups, chopsticks, headphones, cameras, pouches, clothes, hangers and basically any movable object. Soon the unswept floor is barely visible and by Friday night, getting to bed is a tricky task - a tiring exercise as I do combos of long jump, high jump... everything except the pole vault. Friday nights I sleep out of exhaustion.
Saturday - This day I become Mr. Tourist. I dig out my denims, cap and camera from underneath a pile of clothes and spend the day admiring Singapore, clicking pictures and having a blast.. I generally get home well past midnight and then stay up all night putting up pictures on FB!
Sunday -I wake up late... and not my daddy late (which is 8:15 BTW!) but L-A-T-E! 12:30 or 1 in the afternoon... Late start aside, this is by far the most tiring day of the week coz after cooking, cleaning the house and washing clothes, I need to tidy up my room and this is generally around the day of the week I miss mom the most.
But I am enjoying this a lot... Living as a bachelor is something every guys must do... Its just so much fun! And Singapore is easily amongst the best places to work in... Yes, Singapore is teaching me a lot of things.. I learn each day, the work is interesting and challenging, and I am having the time of my life roaming its streets... I learnt how the eat with chopsticks, how to make dal, and that mom does sooo much at home that I never realized..
But despite the joys of Singapore, I generally don't sleep very happy. There is a face I see which wets my eyes, I see that face each time I close my eyes, I dream of that face when I sleep, I even think of that face when I work... Nano... clinging to me on her birthday... fear in her eyes that mama will leave her side if she lets go.. Her face... a mixture of joy, excitement and happiness on seeing me, and an unknown fear.. Her face...
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Marr-aiges
Two of my friends Deepti Deshpande (Now Deepti Suru) and Jayasimha Rachamalla (He gets to keep his name.. plus, this is too unique a name to change anyway) tied the knot last month (not with each other, my group ain't like the one in FRIENDS) and I wanna wish them good luck and the best fortunes ahead.. After all, fortune favors the brave.. Cheers!
I have always enjoyed attending wedding receptions. I don't know what it is about a wedding reception that fascinates me so much. Somewhere I think that this fascination stems from the fact that I am a Malayali
(not one of these pink lungi wearing ones.. but one nonetheless)
See, the thing is, as a mallu kid growing up, the only thing to look forward to in a mallu wedding is the reception (if it does happen). My mallu readers are at this point logging off coz they know what I'm gonna touch on.. PODAA.. may-ging funnof avar maar-ages! For my non mallu readers, here is the deal. For a long time, the mallu wedding function was known to be the quickest thing to wrap up; that is, until the Indian team landed in Zimbabwe.. now we are second best, and our pride is hurt... but i digress..
The mallu wedding is all about speed. No one cares to dance and sing, and the ones who do are chastised severely. No one wastes time wondering what colour looks good on whom. Cream colour for bride and for the groom. The groom wears a mundu (remember mundu?) so that in case he is late, he can fold it up and put in a serious sprint. The girl is almost buried in gold so that she can't change her mind and run away on seeing the groom with his mundu halfway up. The groom is not expected to wear a shirt either... buttoning up takes too much time... Also, since bhattjis take up too much time chanting shlokas, they are cut off the invite list.. I believe some wise mallu looking around for marraige pandal decorations had a flower of a coconut tree fall on him and decided to use it to grace the occasion and that is where the decorations were finalized. Of course, the abundance of coconut trees makes finding these flowers a piece of cake, keeping with the express nature of things. The band belt out slow numbers so that the guests don't go dizzy given the blurring pace, but speed up during the main functions to feed our "Need for Speed".
Oh yes, the pièce de résistance... You know how weddings have guy and girl walking around in circles (pheras) 7 times to get married? Well, we don't spend time with these saat phere. We have power-pheras which, the engineer in me tells me, is 233.33% more potent than the run of the mill pheras. So all we do is have 3 pheras with the guy leading. We mallus love our rice and people standing near the power phera taking couple throw some on them. I don't know the symbolic meaning, but if it means may God shower rice on you, I don't think that is a really nice blessing. How about throwing in some cash instead? Anyway, by this time, the aromas of the sambar and papadam invade the venue and the elders take turns in feeding the newly married couple banana in milk (Yuck!) so that the couple stay cheerful through whatever photo session there is to be. Here begins the longest (& most enjoyable I must add) part of the wedding - the sadhya (feast)..
I've cut out a number of small, nice things that happen in a mallu wedding... the bride being led in a procession of unmarried girls and other such stuff... That doesn't lend much to humour (although a lot of guy-readers are excited about the single babes), and if you wanna see it sooo bad, come over and watch my sis's wedding DVD.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
IPL 2010 wrap-up
It has been a long time since I posted something. And while most would believe it has something to do with my lack of time or hectic work schedules, it is not the case. I have, in fact, been investing my time following the IPL. Investing you ask? Like hell yeah, I say. Check out what I learnt -
1. When someone told Lalchi Mo he was suited for the job, he took it too literally.
Well, here is the scene – Lalchi is at Chennai's Chidambaram stadium… Its 39˚C but feels more like 139 due to the immense humidity… You take a look around, 40,000 cheering fans… 30 office bearers near him… 50 Journos, 15 commentators, countless celebs, 6 immensely hot (in every sense of the word.. Yeah, sweaty too…) cheerleaders… and yet he is not bothered by the fact that he is the only joker to have turned up in a suit. It is hot as hell, and he moves uncomfortably as sweat trickles into unmentionable places. But if its LM, he is either in a suit… or facing one… making him, the undisputed "suit-iya"
2. Sachin and finals don't mix.
There is something about Sachin in a final that God doesn't enjoy. So you'll have fielders admiring each other (sick I tell you! Sick!) while the ball lands exactly between them, Zak dropping catches, and Abhishek Nayar not getting injured severely enough to ensure he doesn't play. But the master that Sachin is, always up for a challenge, he mocks the non-cricketing Gods, n says "Hey, look you… I am the cricketing God around here. And what you can do to screw up a cricket match, I can do better! HA!"
10 minutes of glaring between the cricketing and the non-cricketing Gods and then we see Abhishek Nayar leaving balls outside off stump, Bhajji coming up the order, Duminy getting preference over Pollard when you need 2.5 runs a ball and Amabati Raudu (all 5 feet of him) getting into an ego-war with Pollard (6'5") over a second run.
3. Shit-do is best kept in solitary confinement – with his mouth taped up.
He has long surpassed the stage where he is boring; irritating even. In fact, I heard (unconfirmed news) that Mr. Venu Nair, from WSG, came clean on the money given after he was threatened that he would have to spend a day with Shit-do. Apparently, 5 minutes after the threat was made, he wept uncontrollably realizing his helplessness and confessed to receiving money.
A lot of my other observations are for mature audiences only, and do not find place here… Though this is hardly a blog you'd hear a father reading out to his kid, I like to ensure a (U) rating at all times.
Friday, February 12, 2010
My Name is Can't (act, that is!)
SRK and his fans please skip this post (Yeah, i believe SRK is an invisible follower of this blog)
So I went to watch My Name is Khan... All the controversy about the film made the democrat inside me wake up and take notice. I didn't see anything wrong in what SRK had said, and wanted to express solidarity by watching the film. Having said that, I'm no brave-heart, and I tread towards the box office with caution, despite there being more cops there than movie goers. Besides, the film had a 5 star rating from TOI!
5 stars??? boss, watch this movie and you will realize it's time TOI gets blacklisted; they should be, for giving MNIK a 5 star rating. But then maybe they meant the 5 rupees 5-Star.. coz this movie is worth only those 5 bucks. I guess Shiv Sainiks got a sneak preview of this film and decided Mumbai-kars should not be subjected to this.. And boy, if I ever catch hold of the reviewer, I'm gonna feed him some of the food from my canteen! That oughta teach him! But you never know, if he has loved the film, he may just enjoy it!
The movie is awfully boring... slow.. and goes no where... it felt much like being constipated.. You just sit there, while nothing much happens. You are hopeful that fortunes will change and that something will please you, but are disappointed time and again, as you go through an ordeal! SRK tries to portray the aspie something something syndrome patient, but comes across as comical, at best. He speaks like a robot for no apparent reason, freaks out like he'd seen Karan Johar in bed with a girl from time to time, and generally seems a total misfit.
Apparently, he is supposed to have trouble socializing and in recognizing and displaying emotions. If this is the character they wanted to portray, they should have roped in Chandrachur Singh.... it would have come to him naturally.. And if they wanted to cast someone to fall in love with a looney, then they should have roped in one of those contestants from that reality show.. some dimwit getting married.. what's the name of that chap?? Well, i guess you know! But, to their credit, I did feel like I was inflicted with Asperger's syndrome... there was no interesting point in the film I wanted to discuss, I felt no emotions except an overwhelming sense of boredom, and in general, I was clumsy with my popcorn coz I was dozing off!
Picture this... SRK zips across the US of A to save a family in the eye of hurricane Katrina. His immediate friends and family also have no trouble reaching the eye of the storm.. They see him on TV, and bang! two seconds later, they are wading through waist deep water.. risking their lives (???).. with rations in hand. You know what they say... No hurricane shall keep thy protagonist and anyone important in thy plot away from ground-zero. And while Mr. Khan, who by the way, is not a terrorist and co. hastily rebuild the threatening-to-collapse church, no one thinks of evacuating these chaps using the same hurricane resistant mode of transport they used to get there faster than a speeding train! (One of those high-speed French ones, not our 80 kmph Virar fast)
In the end, they show SRK meeting, what looked to be a guy acting like Obama.. hard to say.. the actor had way too much personality!
My name is Krishnadas, and I am not gonna watch another SRK-KJ combo.
So I went to watch My Name is Khan... All the controversy about the film made the democrat inside me wake up and take notice. I didn't see anything wrong in what SRK had said, and wanted to express solidarity by watching the film. Having said that, I'm no brave-heart, and I tread towards the box office with caution, despite there being more cops there than movie goers. Besides, the film had a 5 star rating from TOI!
5 stars??? boss, watch this movie and you will realize it's time TOI gets blacklisted; they should be, for giving MNIK a 5 star rating. But then maybe they meant the 5 rupees 5-Star.. coz this movie is worth only those 5 bucks. I guess Shiv Sainiks got a sneak preview of this film and decided Mumbai-kars should not be subjected to this.. And boy, if I ever catch hold of the reviewer, I'm gonna feed him some of the food from my canteen! That oughta teach him! But you never know, if he has loved the film, he may just enjoy it!
The movie is awfully boring... slow.. and goes no where... it felt much like being constipated.. You just sit there, while nothing much happens. You are hopeful that fortunes will change and that something will please you, but are disappointed time and again, as you go through an ordeal! SRK tries to portray the aspie something something syndrome patient, but comes across as comical, at best. He speaks like a robot for no apparent reason, freaks out like he'd seen Karan Johar in bed with a girl from time to time, and generally seems a total misfit.
Apparently, he is supposed to have trouble socializing and in recognizing and displaying emotions. If this is the character they wanted to portray, they should have roped in Chandrachur Singh.... it would have come to him naturally.. And if they wanted to cast someone to fall in love with a looney, then they should have roped in one of those contestants from that reality show.. some dimwit getting married.. what's the name of that chap?? Well, i guess you know! But, to their credit, I did feel like I was inflicted with Asperger's syndrome... there was no interesting point in the film I wanted to discuss, I felt no emotions except an overwhelming sense of boredom, and in general, I was clumsy with my popcorn coz I was dozing off!
Picture this... SRK zips across the US of A to save a family in the eye of hurricane Katrina. His immediate friends and family also have no trouble reaching the eye of the storm.. They see him on TV, and bang! two seconds later, they are wading through waist deep water.. risking their lives (???).. with rations in hand. You know what they say... No hurricane shall keep thy protagonist and anyone important in thy plot away from ground-zero. And while Mr. Khan, who by the way, is not a terrorist and co. hastily rebuild the threatening-to-collapse church, no one thinks of evacuating these chaps using the same hurricane resistant mode of transport they used to get there faster than a speeding train! (One of those high-speed French ones, not our 80 kmph Virar fast)
In the end, they show SRK meeting, what looked to be a guy acting like Obama.. hard to say.. the actor had way too much personality!
My name is Krishnadas, and I am not gonna watch another SRK-KJ combo.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Prejudice or common sense?
I was recently watching this discussion on TV… about the Aussies attacking Indians. Reporting on how skin heads have now started Indian barbeque with much success… Close to a billion people feel that the attacks are racial.. You only need a pea sized brain to figure this out.. The Aussie high commissioner, however, insists that here is not enough evidence yet to suggest that the attacks are racially motivated, and recommends that we wait for the investigations to complete… Yeah Mr. Commissioner, when dozens of us are beaten to pulp by blokes twice our size, it is silly of us to think that the attacks are racially motivated.
To quote the high commissioner, “We don’t think that racism is a substantial motive or course in these cases. What we are saying here essentially is a pattern of urban crime”
And to think all this time we were concerned that the attacks are racially motivated… Whew! What a relief to know that we are getting roasted not because we are Indian, but because of a “pattern of urban crime”. Of course, all the chanting of “Go back to India!” and “Give me back my taxi” while the poor chap is beaten black and blue is only to trick us into believing that it is racially motivated, when actually, it is not… ta..nanana.. Oh, and the fact that almost every black and blue roasted piece of meat was once an Indian student is just sheer co-incidence… How dumb of us Indians to fret about this and issue advisories.
Anyway, to all my Aussie brothers who have no intention of smashing a face into a curb,
1. Thanks…
2. Pls speak to other Aussies about what an image is being created about Australia and its people…
And to my Indian friends there… Stay strong, and stay safe!
PS: Mr. High Commissioner, your line of reasoning is encouraging a lot of misbehavior on flights here in India. Passengers who have been caught feeling up the air hostesses are insisting that they were merely frisking them, which is an “urban trend” – what with frisking happening at all malls, stores, offices, etc. They now insist that future offenders should not be deplaned until all investigations are complete…
Source: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Attacks-have-hit-Oz-image-in-India-Australian-High-Commissioner-/articleshow/5431721.cms
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Happy new year...
Firstly, I wanna wish all of you a very happy new year.. and to all the pretty girls who couldn't be my date for an evening in 2009, I pray this year be more lucky for you...
I welcomed the new year with a party at home, with some family friends. Wine was flowing and I ate food, which was enough to have fed a small village in Somalia.. My stomach was full, and there was a sense of happiness creeping in that was hard to control. That day I learnt something... when you have gulped downed a dozen glasses of alcohol, the Michael Jackson in you awakens from his deep slumber, shaking his head violently blublublub.., and starts to dance... So, stomach full and my head feeling light as a bubble, I decided to turn up the volume and dance.
I know those who have seen me dance are scrolling to the end of this post looking for a video clip (and a good laugh!)... But it ain't there.. so hehehe... ha.. hum.. look its my blog.. I don't wanna get the treatment Elaine got for this.. (With people dancing like her whenever they see her)
All I can say is that people who have seen me dance don't find this video funny... Lets leave it at that..
My uncle was shaking a leg, but wearing a panicky face, kept a safe distance, as i kicked hard in the air.. like Ajmal Kasab was lying at my feet or something.. He didnt wanna risk his leg shaking for the rest of his life!
Some people usher in the new year in churches, others dancing romantically with their partners.. Some others hang out with friends.. All to set the tone for the year to come...
I however, have danced my way into Ripley's believe it or not.. Boy, 2010 is gonna be some year...
I welcomed the new year with a party at home, with some family friends. Wine was flowing and I ate food, which was enough to have fed a small village in Somalia.. My stomach was full, and there was a sense of happiness creeping in that was hard to control. That day I learnt something... when you have gulped downed a dozen glasses of alcohol, the Michael Jackson in you awakens from his deep slumber, shaking his head violently blublublub.., and starts to dance... So, stomach full and my head feeling light as a bubble, I decided to turn up the volume and dance.
I know those who have seen me dance are scrolling to the end of this post looking for a video clip (and a good laugh!)... But it ain't there.. so hehehe... ha.. hum.. look its my blog.. I don't wanna get the treatment Elaine got for this.. (With people dancing like her whenever they see her)
All I can say is that people who have seen me dance don't find this video funny... Lets leave it at that..
My uncle was shaking a leg, but wearing a panicky face, kept a safe distance, as i kicked hard in the air.. like Ajmal Kasab was lying at my feet or something.. He didnt wanna risk his leg shaking for the rest of his life!
Some people usher in the new year in churches, others dancing romantically with their partners.. Some others hang out with friends.. All to set the tone for the year to come...
I however, have danced my way into Ripley's believe it or not.. Boy, 2010 is gonna be some year...
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Warming up...
On this trip to Kerala, I travelled second sleeper, and while that isn't generally a good thing given the funny smells in the tunnels, it is particularly good if you wanna meet some interesting characters, or if the people you are travelling with are deodorantly impaired, in which case you'd eargerly await the tunnel...
I reached the station quite early, and was in a different compartment than the rest of my group. The plan was to swap seats with some other passenger so that I could travel with my group. I was seated, looking out of the window, when this decent looking young chap - hair combed back with a generous portion of coconut oil, chandan tikka on his forehead and a token mustache (Token because it was a thin one... hard to spot against his dark skin) approached me..
"40... Aaa... here here... come" Then pointing... "Are you sitting saar?"
Looking around "Apparently.." hehe..
"Eh?"
"Yes, yes, I am sitting" Whats wrong with me?? "Er.. this is my seat..."
"Saar this is my anti sir.. She is in other side of the coach... Can you please eschange sir?"
Anti? Why is she anti?
"Er... OK... but is it a reserved berth?"
"Yes sir.. Completely reserved. See actually sir, she wants to sleep with me.. or any other man from the family begoz my uncle is not there... and she always sleeps with someone or the other when she travels..."
My eyes nearly popped out!!! You know you look at a person and can never say.... I am surely anti-her...
"Uh! I mean, yeah sure, I'll move.."
I promptly moved out. I didn't wanna risk her making her moves on me... A young, handsome, charming, intelligent and accessible (Mr. Potharaju, make your gal pals read this line 3 times over) guy on his way to scrub his paaps off... The berth i moved to happened to be a side berth, and sitting opposite me was a very earnest looking chap who had his back pack clutched tightly against his er... bosom.
"Hi.. I just moved here from 40" Pointing to the other end of the coach..
"Aa"
Now mallus know all about this "aa". Most south indians do in fact.
Northies, "aaaa'" is like a wild card. Other than its use as a filler, it could mean
1. Yes - "aa" (very brief)
2. Ability to understand - "aa" (very brief, repeated with shaking of head like we'd say 'no')
3. Showing recognition - "aaaa" (high pitch)
4. Showing circumspection - "aaaa" (low pitch)
Silence....
"I aam into durbines disine.. Jusdai came faar interview"
"oh.. cleared it?"
"aaaa" (low pitch) "aa.. I think thaad should be ogay"
"Nice..."
Just then the pantry guy came over...
"Rise.. Lunge"
I was about to.. then stopped "No, my group has made arrangements for me.."
Mr. Durbine: "aa.. rice... saat mein zimble mein kya ae"
Sounds like hindi... Hard to tell...
"wet-a-bull?"
WET-A-BULL??? What the hells that?
I scanned my mallu vocab.. Vetta means cut... but bull? er.. should i ask him.. Naah, let Mr. Durbine here ask him...
"aa.. aa.. wet-a-bull baiya"
Baiya.. hehe...
10 mins of wondering, and almost asking Mr. Durbine what wet-a-bull was and the pantry guy comes over, gives the guy a vegetable - rice meal, and leaves...
I went looking for my group.. I soo needed to laugh..
I reached the station quite early, and was in a different compartment than the rest of my group. The plan was to swap seats with some other passenger so that I could travel with my group. I was seated, looking out of the window, when this decent looking young chap - hair combed back with a generous portion of coconut oil, chandan tikka on his forehead and a token mustache (Token because it was a thin one... hard to spot against his dark skin) approached me..
"40... Aaa... here here... come" Then pointing... "Are you sitting saar?"
Looking around "Apparently.." hehe..
"Eh?"
"Yes, yes, I am sitting" Whats wrong with me?? "Er.. this is my seat..."
"Saar this is my anti sir.. She is in other side of the coach... Can you please eschange sir?"
Anti? Why is she anti?
"Er... OK... but is it a reserved berth?"
"Yes sir.. Completely reserved. See actually sir, she wants to sleep with me.. or any other man from the family begoz my uncle is not there... and she always sleeps with someone or the other when she travels..."
My eyes nearly popped out!!! You know you look at a person and can never say.... I am surely anti-her...
"Uh! I mean, yeah sure, I'll move.."
I promptly moved out. I didn't wanna risk her making her moves on me... A young, handsome, charming, intelligent and accessible (Mr. Potharaju, make your gal pals read this line 3 times over) guy on his way to scrub his paaps off... The berth i moved to happened to be a side berth, and sitting opposite me was a very earnest looking chap who had his back pack clutched tightly against his er... bosom.
"Hi.. I just moved here from 40" Pointing to the other end of the coach..
"Aa"
Now mallus know all about this "aa". Most south indians do in fact.
Northies, "aaaa'" is like a wild card. Other than its use as a filler, it could mean
1. Yes - "aa" (very brief)
2. Ability to understand - "aa" (very brief, repeated with shaking of head like we'd say 'no')
3. Showing recognition - "aaaa" (high pitch)
4. Showing circumspection - "aaaa" (low pitch)
Silence....
"I aam into durbines disine.. Jusdai came faar interview"
"oh.. cleared it?"
"aaaa" (low pitch) "aa.. I think thaad should be ogay"
"Nice..."
Just then the pantry guy came over...
"Rise.. Lunge"
I was about to.. then stopped "No, my group has made arrangements for me.."
Mr. Durbine: "aa.. rice... saat mein zimble mein kya ae"
Sounds like hindi... Hard to tell...
"wet-a-bull?"
WET-A-BULL??? What the hells that?
I scanned my mallu vocab.. Vetta means cut... but bull? er.. should i ask him.. Naah, let Mr. Durbine here ask him...
"aa.. aa.. wet-a-bull baiya"
Baiya.. hehe...
10 mins of wondering, and almost asking Mr. Durbine what wet-a-bull was and the pantry guy comes over, gives the guy a vegetable - rice meal, and leaves...
I went looking for my group.. I soo needed to laugh..
Sunday, November 29, 2009
...and back!
Note: Not anything like my other posts...
Its been over 41 days of penance, introspection, fasting and single minded devotion.. days spent hungry, spent as a hermit, as you cleanse yourself and dream of the day that you will get darshan of the Lord at the place where he took Samaadhi - Sabarimala. Negotiating the steep climb, as stones prick your bare feet, climbing 3 hours chanting His praises, and then the long wait for that elusive darshan.. Its just a couple of seconds you get in front of the sanctum sanctorum.. but that suffices.. 41 days for a few seconds, and yet it is sooooo worth it.
I started my journey with a lot of things on my mind, things that bothered me, things that i wished i hadn't done. Lord Ayappan is said to a Kalyug Vardan, which translates into "Boon for the Kalyug" (A period of time where moral values take a backseat and everyone is in pursuit of material happiness) He welcomes those who have sinned and are repenting it with His arms wide open, and gives them the strength to not tread that line again. He has been kind to me, and as an immediate token of forgiveness has granted me something I prayed for every day during my Vrath. A very wonderful person I know, whose marriage was long delayed got married on 27th, the same day that I climed Sabarimala.
Its nice to be back... and its nice to know that wedding bells are ringing for a person I really love a lot.
Its been over 41 days of penance, introspection, fasting and single minded devotion.. days spent hungry, spent as a hermit, as you cleanse yourself and dream of the day that you will get darshan of the Lord at the place where he took Samaadhi - Sabarimala. Negotiating the steep climb, as stones prick your bare feet, climbing 3 hours chanting His praises, and then the long wait for that elusive darshan.. Its just a couple of seconds you get in front of the sanctum sanctorum.. but that suffices.. 41 days for a few seconds, and yet it is sooooo worth it.
I started my journey with a lot of things on my mind, things that bothered me, things that i wished i hadn't done. Lord Ayappan is said to a Kalyug Vardan, which translates into "Boon for the Kalyug" (A period of time where moral values take a backseat and everyone is in pursuit of material happiness) He welcomes those who have sinned and are repenting it with His arms wide open, and gives them the strength to not tread that line again. He has been kind to me, and as an immediate token of forgiveness has granted me something I prayed for every day during my Vrath. A very wonderful person I know, whose marriage was long delayed got married on 27th, the same day that I climed Sabarimala.
Its nice to be back... and its nice to know that wedding bells are ringing for a person I really love a lot.
Friday, September 25, 2009
What do you think?
I remember watching a Russell Peters stand up act.. He was speaking about how the media puts ideas into your mind, without you even realizing wat is going on. I was in splits as he gave his examples.. The first one was of showing really angry arabs hurling abuses at US and then showing the 9/11 attacks.. And he says the media questions implicitly,
"What do ya think?"
Taking the same thought forward, here are few grouped (hypothetical) headlines based on Mr. Kirsten's popular (with the players anyway!) dossier encouraging them to indulge in activities that cause flowers to rub together, the sun to set and the camera to go out of focus.
Gary Kirsten suggests sex to improve performance.
Ever-diligent Gambhir out with a groin strain!!
What do you think?
Gary Kirsten suggests sex to improve performance.
Dravid really excited about being back in the team.
What do you think?
Gary Kirsten suggests sex to improve performance.
Dhoni emphasizes on "Team-work"!!
What do you think?
One way or the other.. I hope the guys stay on top... er... in the rankings, that is.
"What do ya think?"
Taking the same thought forward, here are few grouped (hypothetical) headlines based on Mr. Kirsten's popular (with the players anyway!) dossier encouraging them to indulge in activities that cause flowers to rub together, the sun to set and the camera to go out of focus.
Gary Kirsten suggests sex to improve performance.
Ever-diligent Gambhir out with a groin strain!!
What do you think?
Gary Kirsten suggests sex to improve performance.
Dravid really excited about being back in the team.
What do you think?
Gary Kirsten suggests sex to improve performance.
Dhoni emphasizes on "Team-work"!!
What do you think?
One way or the other.. I hope the guys stay on top... er... in the rankings, that is.
Monday, September 21, 2009
O-numb! celebrations
My mom insisted i join her for the Onam celebration held here by one of the mallu associations. Now, I have almost never enjoyed them, coz they are the second most boring affairs, after
1. The meetings i attend on a daily basis and
2. Lux Perfect Bride..
And I sure wasn't planning to invest 4 hrs to hear out-of-tune singing, have an insipid lunch and return after having gone over my academic background, current occupation and answering the ever challenging "where.. ..in 5 yrs?" question, over 40 times... I declined. She asked again. I declined. She pulled out the heavy artillery with the emosanal atyachar "Can't you come along for my sake?" I declined, asking if she'd go front row for a rock concert, just for my sake... silence ensued....
But with Nano and all the sleepless nights mom has, taking care of her, i agreed.. Plus my i-call-her-aunt aunt and her niece (I went to watch my aunt.. not her niece, just to clarify!) were in a couple of traditional dances, which i did wanna see.. and she requested me to get it recorded. So, handy-cam in tow, i set out.. braving the prospect of yawning my jaws off, once the dances are done. The traditional dances are always nice, and the other performances are well, as much excitement as a Namibia - Bermuda cricket encounter held in Turkmenistan..
But boy! Was i wrong! The entire programme was awesome. There was tons of participation from the kids, and suddenly, the average age of a participant had plummeted from 65 to 15! The opening prayer was awesome, followed by excellent Kaikottikalli.. followed by an array of stunning fusion numbers, a drama, 2 classical dance renditions.. all ending in an awesome gala, which had even the senior-most grooving and jiving a-la Travolta.
The only part of the program that gave me that sinking feeling "uh oh.. back to ol' times" was when the chief guests landed on the dais. The chief guest list was as long as a voting list from a small town, and the emcee merely scanned the audience and invited more people on-stage. I ducked under his radar (not that i was running a risk, but who wants to take a chance!) and counted around 5 C.Gs on-stage..
5 minutes and the stage had some 10 senior mallus, a lawyer, a social worker, a journalist, a smiling firangi (from the Czech Consulate) who looked like he could bring down a building with a sneeze (6'6", maybe more and built like an army tank) and a bunch of guys running around with mics, all of them with a love for the mic that is touching to see. Most of the guys rattled off Malayalam that left the veterans scouring through their dictionaries, me scratching my head, the firangi still wearing the same smile, searching for a cue to begin clapping, and the rest of the people dazed. Enter the chiefest chief guest.. Some principal of some college.
30-something... And as he adjusted the mic and started to speak, some 5000 kms away.. in a graveyard in Athens... Socrates' was beside himself in joy yelling "Theres 2 of us! Theres 2 of us!" I didn't quite get this reincarnates name.. so anyway, my man Sock-rats went on and on and on, while the audience shut their dictionaries, relaxed on their chair and started to snooze. His subject was about how technology had altered inter-personal relations and how nothing is permanent. Well, at that precise moment, his speaking did seem to be, and given the couple of mythological dramas I had just seen, I was praying hard for a Pralayam of sorts.. My ears were going numb from the onslaught, and i still cant feel them as i write this... Hmm.. thats strange, can we really not feel our ears or has he done some permanent damage?
When i was elbowed out of my slumber by mom 15 minutes later i heard him say "So to conclude..". All the senior mallus were looking for signs of lunch, the kids were curled up in a corner, fast asleep and the firangi was still wearing the same smile on his face coupled with a look of sheer determination as he fought away every yawn that creeped up on him. 10 minutes passed.. Some sections of the audience began clapping, and finally.. oh finally! he let go of the mic. I'm pretty sure some one in the audience brandished a knife or held out a gun or a rocked launcher or something! Slow-gun Murugun seemed to have saved the day! Mr. Vocal Diarrhoea wore the look of a kid who had been robbed off his candy, waved ta-ra and got back into his Neelkamal chair.
Hard to tell if the firangi was smiling thinking of this character he had encountered or whether it was the original smile. Ah darn, my long term memory sucks and I can't recall the original smile! But anyway, he nevertheless smiled..
The meals were just about OK.... but boy oh boy, what an entertaining day i'd had.. Nice dances.. a long nap and then some more awesome performances from the kids... This celebration is something i will look forward to next yr!
1. The meetings i attend on a daily basis and
2. Lux Perfect Bride..
And I sure wasn't planning to invest 4 hrs to hear out-of-tune singing, have an insipid lunch and return after having gone over my academic background, current occupation and answering the ever challenging "where.. ..in 5 yrs?" question, over 40 times... I declined. She asked again. I declined. She pulled out the heavy artillery with the emosanal atyachar "Can't you come along for my sake?" I declined, asking if she'd go front row for a rock concert, just for my sake... silence ensued....
But with Nano and all the sleepless nights mom has, taking care of her, i agreed.. Plus my i-call-her-aunt aunt and her niece (I went to watch my aunt.. not her niece, just to clarify!) were in a couple of traditional dances, which i did wanna see.. and she requested me to get it recorded. So, handy-cam in tow, i set out.. braving the prospect of yawning my jaws off, once the dances are done. The traditional dances are always nice, and the other performances are well, as much excitement as a Namibia - Bermuda cricket encounter held in Turkmenistan..
But boy! Was i wrong! The entire programme was awesome. There was tons of participation from the kids, and suddenly, the average age of a participant had plummeted from 65 to 15! The opening prayer was awesome, followed by excellent Kaikottikalli.. followed by an array of stunning fusion numbers, a drama, 2 classical dance renditions.. all ending in an awesome gala, which had even the senior-most grooving and jiving a-la Travolta.
The only part of the program that gave me that sinking feeling "uh oh.. back to ol' times" was when the chief guests landed on the dais. The chief guest list was as long as a voting list from a small town, and the emcee merely scanned the audience and invited more people on-stage. I ducked under his radar (not that i was running a risk, but who wants to take a chance!) and counted around 5 C.Gs on-stage..
5 minutes and the stage had some 10 senior mallus, a lawyer, a social worker, a journalist, a smiling firangi (from the Czech Consulate) who looked like he could bring down a building with a sneeze (6'6", maybe more and built like an army tank) and a bunch of guys running around with mics, all of them with a love for the mic that is touching to see. Most of the guys rattled off Malayalam that left the veterans scouring through their dictionaries, me scratching my head, the firangi still wearing the same smile, searching for a cue to begin clapping, and the rest of the people dazed. Enter the chiefest chief guest.. Some principal of some college.
30-something... And as he adjusted the mic and started to speak, some 5000 kms away.. in a graveyard in Athens... Socrates' was beside himself in joy yelling "Theres 2 of us! Theres 2 of us!" I didn't quite get this reincarnates name.. so anyway, my man Sock-rats went on and on and on, while the audience shut their dictionaries, relaxed on their chair and started to snooze. His subject was about how technology had altered inter-personal relations and how nothing is permanent. Well, at that precise moment, his speaking did seem to be, and given the couple of mythological dramas I had just seen, I was praying hard for a Pralayam of sorts.. My ears were going numb from the onslaught, and i still cant feel them as i write this... Hmm.. thats strange, can we really not feel our ears or has he done some permanent damage?
When i was elbowed out of my slumber by mom 15 minutes later i heard him say "So to conclude..". All the senior mallus were looking for signs of lunch, the kids were curled up in a corner, fast asleep and the firangi was still wearing the same smile on his face coupled with a look of sheer determination as he fought away every yawn that creeped up on him. 10 minutes passed.. Some sections of the audience began clapping, and finally.. oh finally! he let go of the mic. I'm pretty sure some one in the audience brandished a knife or held out a gun or a rocked launcher or something! Slow-gun Murugun seemed to have saved the day! Mr. Vocal Diarrhoea wore the look of a kid who had been robbed off his candy, waved ta-ra and got back into his Neelkamal chair.
Hard to tell if the firangi was smiling thinking of this character he had encountered or whether it was the original smile. Ah darn, my long term memory sucks and I can't recall the original smile! But anyway, he nevertheless smiled..
The meals were just about OK.... but boy oh boy, what an entertaining day i'd had.. Nice dances.. a long nap and then some more awesome performances from the kids... This celebration is something i will look forward to next yr!
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Social Vibe
Guys, I have added this social vibe toolbar at the bottom of my blog page.. All you need to do is watch a video and rate it, and in return the sponsoring company will donate Micro Nutrients to the World Food Programme charity.. The donation per view of video is Micro Nutrients for a week..
So pls, spare some time and help in this charity..
Here is the message I got from blogger..
So pls, spare some time and help in this charity..
Here is the message I got from blogger..
In honor of Blogger's 10th anniversary, we are excited to announce that you can now use your blogs to create positive, measurable social change. By adding the SocialVibe gadget to your blog, you'll be turning brand dollars into real charitable donations for the cause of your choice..
...and remember, you don't raise money by taking money out of your pocket—or your audience's—but rather by getting your readers to engage with your SocialVibe gadget
Iss TV se mujhe bachao
It was around 10.30 and i got a call from Aanchal. Her first question as i er.. eagerly answered the phone was
"Hey, whatcha doing?"
I replied "Watching iss jungle se...".
Her curious voice prodded "Why?"
I tell ya..16 yrs of education, 4 yrs of engineering and bluffing my ass off in vivas, doing much the same in all the status meetings i attend these days and all i could come up with was "Dunno.."
At that precise moment, i felt the helplessness A-jinx-yeah feels when he faces up to Shreeshant's hapless seam bowling! I guess there must be some such thing as getting addicted to something that makes you want to pull out each hair on ur arm, smile through the ordeal and come back for some more!!! Oh wait, thats waxing and something girls do all the time.. So well, its like.. like.. er.. pulling out your eyebrows.. er not this as well.. er.. its like.. ... ... damn you girls!
Coming back to Iss jungle se, it is touching to watch people eat worms and have snakes crawl up their trousers for the sake of their families.. I mean Chetan gobbling up worms quicker than i could ever gobble up chicken does cry out "Anything for you son" much louder than it cries "Anything for you money". His priorities are something I understand and respect.. But why on earth is he maligning Superman and Spider man... The guy screams out "I am Spider Man" with pride on his face commonly found amongst Nobel laureates.. I think he has taken the Spider bit in Spider Man a little too seriously.. Look bro, despite being "Spider" man, Peter Parker eats burgers and sandwiches.. He does the shooting webs and crawling up buildings part, but he doesn't prey on worms and flies. Take a cue..
Oh, and yeah.. If Yuck-as-beep had a rupee for each time he cussed angrily... He would have been one rich *&$#*&#$##$#&*
This reality TV crap is the in thing right now.. Every channel has 10 on air.. From abusing bikes to abusing fellow contestants, reality television seems to be catching on.. Most channels are neck and neck with the TRPs.. Except Star Plus, who are head and shoulders above the others.. The reason you ask? The package deal I say... Mind It!
Now here is the package deal - Be a contestant on Sach ka Saamna, strip naked in front of a million television viewers (yeah, the Star guys paid me to put down that figure.. left to me, I'd count 7.. no, 5) get that happy marriage on the rocks, and move to the adjacent studio for the shoot of Aap Ki Kachehri with Kiran Bedi, where you can discuss the secret bank accounts, countless girlfriends and aborted pregnancies you willingly declared...
Last I heard, they are planning to launch a match-making show to preceed Sach ka Saamna.. Thats when its really gonna get crazy! The family court in Bandra is gonna be one helluva busy place!
"Hey, whatcha doing?"
I replied "Watching iss jungle se...".
Her curious voice prodded "Why?"
I tell ya..16 yrs of education, 4 yrs of engineering and bluffing my ass off in vivas, doing much the same in all the status meetings i attend these days and all i could come up with was "Dunno.."
At that precise moment, i felt the helplessness A-jinx-yeah feels when he faces up to Shreeshant's hapless seam bowling! I guess there must be some such thing as getting addicted to something that makes you want to pull out each hair on ur arm, smile through the ordeal and come back for some more!!! Oh wait, thats waxing and something girls do all the time.. So well, its like.. like.. er.. pulling out your eyebrows.. er not this as well.. er.. its like.. ... ... damn you girls!
Coming back to Iss jungle se, it is touching to watch people eat worms and have snakes crawl up their trousers for the sake of their families.. I mean Chetan gobbling up worms quicker than i could ever gobble up chicken does cry out "Anything for you son" much louder than it cries "Anything for you money". His priorities are something I understand and respect.. But why on earth is he maligning Superman and Spider man... The guy screams out "I am Spider Man" with pride on his face commonly found amongst Nobel laureates.. I think he has taken the Spider bit in Spider Man a little too seriously.. Look bro, despite being "Spider" man, Peter Parker eats burgers and sandwiches.. He does the shooting webs and crawling up buildings part, but he doesn't prey on worms and flies. Take a cue..
Oh, and yeah.. If Yuck-as-beep had a rupee for each time he cussed angrily... He would have been one rich *&$#*&#$##$#&*
This reality TV crap is the in thing right now.. Every channel has 10 on air.. From abusing bikes to abusing fellow contestants, reality television seems to be catching on.. Most channels are neck and neck with the TRPs.. Except Star Plus, who are head and shoulders above the others.. The reason you ask? The package deal I say... Mind It!
Now here is the package deal - Be a contestant on Sach ka Saamna, strip naked in front of a million television viewers (yeah, the Star guys paid me to put down that figure.. left to me, I'd count 7.. no, 5) get that happy marriage on the rocks, and move to the adjacent studio for the shoot of Aap Ki Kachehri with Kiran Bedi, where you can discuss the secret bank accounts, countless girlfriends and aborted pregnancies you willingly declared...
Last I heard, they are planning to launch a match-making show to preceed Sach ka Saamna.. Thats when its really gonna get crazy! The family court in Bandra is gonna be one helluva busy place!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
This and that
Its been a dull week for me.. Nothing much happening basically... Its just work, work, pacify a crying baby and then work some more. I have been given a role upgrade which means that i can now assign tasks to others and take crucial decisions such as when they will reach office and when they get to go home. So far they are pretty happy, except for an attempt on my life and a lot more cussing that is audible to me.. I can't help it really. I dont get to decide the target.. My manager gives me an unrealistic target, and I give him unrealistic claim vouchers.. Tit for tat!
So anyway, I realized that in all my posts, i had never really introduced myself.. So here goes.. I'm Vinod... Vinod Krishnadas.. Mumbai-kar born into a mallu family.. 24 yrs old (if it is still 2009 :) ) and working.. I own a car and live largely on sponsorships, mainly from my principal sponsor - a Non-Profit Institution that is my dad. I fancied being a stand up comedian but was told to sit down, hence the job in IT. I think i'm a run-of-the-mill guy, with an average everything (except a marginally (we'll argue later) above average waist-line and marginally below average intelligence) Aanchal begs to differ on the latter.. But then, i haven't even met her formally. She'll have plenty of opportunity to change.. er.. correct her opinion.. No one can argue about the former.
I'm uncomfortable talking about myself.. and am gonna close this post here..
Till I can think of a topic.. Cya
PS: Suggestions are welcome.
So anyway, I realized that in all my posts, i had never really introduced myself.. So here goes.. I'm Vinod... Vinod Krishnadas.. Mumbai-kar born into a mallu family.. 24 yrs old (if it is still 2009 :) ) and working.. I own a car and live largely on sponsorships, mainly from my principal sponsor - a Non-Profit Institution that is my dad. I fancied being a stand up comedian but was told to sit down, hence the job in IT. I think i'm a run-of-the-mill guy, with an average everything (except a marginally (we'll argue later) above average waist-line and marginally below average intelligence) Aanchal begs to differ on the latter.. But then, i haven't even met her formally. She'll have plenty of opportunity to change.. er.. correct her opinion.. No one can argue about the former.
I'm uncomfortable talking about myself.. and am gonna close this post here..
Till I can think of a topic.. Cya
PS: Suggestions are welcome.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Bar-burr
I'd been to the barber's recently.. I dont like to comb my hair.. so i get a self combing hair cut all the time.. which means that there is just enough hair to cover the brown and yet not enough to warrant a comb.. As you can imagine, i end up visiting the friendly neighborhood barber quite often.. This is an incident which happened some one n half yrs back..
In my college days, i didn't earn much.. There is only so much you can extort outta your dad.. and i always fancied a 'herbal head massage' after a good hair cut.. but never ever got one coz for the price of one i could watch half a movie with my girlfriend, and i figured i could get the head massage after the movie for free from her anyway.. ;)
But a break up and higher disposable income (i earn now..) meant i could finally get one... I was working, there were tensions in my mind.. and i felt i had earned my massage.. My college days were largely stress free, and i had heard you need tensions to enjoy a massage. So i got myself a new girlfriend and a project with tight deadlines.. I was now ready to enjoy a good massage.
I was now at the barber's.. awaiting my turn... When my turn did come, i told him to give me a medium trim (i wanted to get to the massage without too much time passing) The hair cut was done soon enough..
"Saab aur kuch"
"haan.. head massage pls"
"Ail?"
"Huh"
"Ail kaunsa?"
"kaunsa hai?"
"Navratan aur Kings.. Space-al delukjh"
Navratan is the brand AB endorses.. So i figured, i'd go in for the true desi stuff.. the stuff that can make your worries melt away.. Kings.. rather than give in to corporate marketing strategy making up for a poor product..
"Kings dedo"
and boy did he give it to me.. I got a truck load of 'ail' on my head.. followed by a hammering.. and then some more bludgeoning.. exactly where he had poured what smelt like camphor mixed with rotten fish! Then i get a slap on the back of my head.. he also threw in a punch for good measure... I start to turn to confront the guy and i feel hands holding me by the jaw and twisting my head as if the sole intention was to rip it off.. I heard my neck going CRACK! with the stunt, and before i could yelp out, he twisted it the other way round.. I tell ya, if it were Sunny Deol in Aaj ka, Kal ka, Parson ka or Kabhi ka bhi Arjun, i would have dropped dead after letting out a meek 'Aaa'.. I however, survived.. He then proceeded to try and Neutralize me ala Spock from Star Trek.. with his vice like grip on my collar bone.. Now, if you wondering why i havent protested to this guy yet.. pls realize.. i am in a state of shock! I am getting the mauling of my life.. and to rub salt in the wounds.. i am paying for it.. and enduring it willingly! It then dawned on me.. The reason you forget your tensions when you get one of these is that survival instincts are the strongest.. and you end up racking ur brains for ways to get outta this!
After he had battered my head, shoulders and hands, he whispered?
"Maseen?"
Surely a machine will not be soo brutal... So, in all my wisdom "Haan!"
He brought out what looked like a stun gun, wore it on his palm and aimed.. I almost ducked, only to realize he wasn't (thankfully) going to blow my head off.. The machine vibrated, and he moved his palm over my rather sore scalp..
Not bad... This does feel pretty good...
Its like i had spoken too soon. Coz he did something i was not prepared for.. In fact, you cannot prepare for this.. He stuffed his finger into my ear in one easy motion, and started wiggling it around.. YUCK!!!! I almost jumped out of my chair... I told him that i'd pass the finger in ear massage.. I was mad by this point! All i wanted was a head massage.. and he was in my ears already.. My ears had been intruded into.. I didnt wanna risk him stuffing his fingers up my nose next!
I stood up.. paid for a months haircut and a spanking of a lifetime.. and left...
I was missing hair.. smarting from the assault and smelling like mithi river... I was also poorer and looking like i just got off a Gareeb Rath from UP to Mumbai... All my tensions were long forgotten..
Just thinking of getting another massage sends a shiver down my spine.. Bar-burr!!!
In my college days, i didn't earn much.. There is only so much you can extort outta your dad.. and i always fancied a 'herbal head massage' after a good hair cut.. but never ever got one coz for the price of one i could watch half a movie with my girlfriend, and i figured i could get the head massage after the movie for free from her anyway.. ;)
But a break up and higher disposable income (i earn now..) meant i could finally get one... I was working, there were tensions in my mind.. and i felt i had earned my massage.. My college days were largely stress free, and i had heard you need tensions to enjoy a massage. So i got myself a new girlfriend and a project with tight deadlines.. I was now ready to enjoy a good massage.
I was now at the barber's.. awaiting my turn... When my turn did come, i told him to give me a medium trim (i wanted to get to the massage without too much time passing) The hair cut was done soon enough..
"Saab aur kuch"
"haan.. head massage pls"
"Ail?"
"Huh"
"Ail kaunsa?"
"kaunsa hai?"
"Navratan aur Kings.. Space-al delukjh"
Navratan is the brand AB endorses.. So i figured, i'd go in for the true desi stuff.. the stuff that can make your worries melt away.. Kings.. rather than give in to corporate marketing strategy making up for a poor product..
"Kings dedo"
and boy did he give it to me.. I got a truck load of 'ail' on my head.. followed by a hammering.. and then some more bludgeoning.. exactly where he had poured what smelt like camphor mixed with rotten fish! Then i get a slap on the back of my head.. he also threw in a punch for good measure... I start to turn to confront the guy and i feel hands holding me by the jaw and twisting my head as if the sole intention was to rip it off.. I heard my neck going CRACK! with the stunt, and before i could yelp out, he twisted it the other way round.. I tell ya, if it were Sunny Deol in Aaj ka, Kal ka, Parson ka or Kabhi ka bhi Arjun, i would have dropped dead after letting out a meek 'Aaa'.. I however, survived.. He then proceeded to try and Neutralize me ala Spock from Star Trek.. with his vice like grip on my collar bone.. Now, if you wondering why i havent protested to this guy yet.. pls realize.. i am in a state of shock! I am getting the mauling of my life.. and to rub salt in the wounds.. i am paying for it.. and enduring it willingly! It then dawned on me.. The reason you forget your tensions when you get one of these is that survival instincts are the strongest.. and you end up racking ur brains for ways to get outta this!
After he had battered my head, shoulders and hands, he whispered?
"Maseen?"
Surely a machine will not be soo brutal... So, in all my wisdom "Haan!"
He brought out what looked like a stun gun, wore it on his palm and aimed.. I almost ducked, only to realize he wasn't (thankfully) going to blow my head off.. The machine vibrated, and he moved his palm over my rather sore scalp..
Not bad... This does feel pretty good...
Its like i had spoken too soon. Coz he did something i was not prepared for.. In fact, you cannot prepare for this.. He stuffed his finger into my ear in one easy motion, and started wiggling it around.. YUCK!!!! I almost jumped out of my chair... I told him that i'd pass the finger in ear massage.. I was mad by this point! All i wanted was a head massage.. and he was in my ears already.. My ears had been intruded into.. I didnt wanna risk him stuffing his fingers up my nose next!
I stood up.. paid for a months haircut and a spanking of a lifetime.. and left...
I was missing hair.. smarting from the assault and smelling like mithi river... I was also poorer and looking like i just got off a Gareeb Rath from UP to Mumbai... All my tensions were long forgotten..
Just thinking of getting another massage sends a shiver down my spine.. Bar-burr!!!
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Yeh Swapna hi hain
My ni(e)ce was named yesterday.. We had a naming ceremony at my place, with all my relatives coming over. The aunts and uncles thronging to see the first in my family's third generation. I was busy running around arranging things, but would always steal some time to be be with Nano, who was really enjoying the attention she was getting. She had captivated her audience with her range of expressions, starting from the wide eyed gaze, which meant she was in a playful mood and was seeking out the right company, to her i've just crapped look, which meant, well, that she had... And Its always so amazing to hear adults near kids.. I dont know what it is about these tiny tots that makes ppl speak like they have some severe form of retardation. I mean you'd never hear an adult go, Hi, how do you do.. with a kid.. Its always alululululu and cho chweet and.. you get the idea.. Even old uncles, who have never been known to smile would be grinning and speaking in totla fashion that'd put Bawa caricatures to shame..
Now, for those not familiar with the mallu ways of things, mamas rule (yeah, thats me!) We are the ones who get to name the kid, to feed her her first food.. Basically if you are a mallu kid, better be good with your mama.. My sister was gung-ho about the name Swapna, and i liked it as well. She's named her Swapna after a close friend Swapna, whom she almost idolizes. So with mama's approval, the name was finalized, and i was excited at the prospect of being at the helm.. What i didn't realize was that where tradition had made me the take the 'Seat of Honour', it made me do so shirtless, and wearing a Mundu.. YIKES!! And wearing a trouser underneath just makes it look really awful.. So basically... When i was in the mundu, there wasn't a second line of defense, except at er.. at sensitive installations..
The ceremony was a simple one.. The bua puts on her ornaments.. I then take her name thrice in each ear after calling out Parvati into each ear first.. When i call out the name, my sister covers the other ear with a betel leaf, and once this is done, I announce the name to everyone else. Then i feed her some stuff mixed in milk.. more symbolically than anything else.. and after me, all the others take turns doing this, calling her by her name, all while i hold her.
Anyway, all this holding and shifting with my hands busy holding her had sent my confidence (about the mundu) for a walk, and standing up, all i could hope for was the mundu would stay out on my waist. The prospect of me doing a John-from-dostana was seeming increasingly imminent.. along with the ceremony ending up with an 'A' rating (Yeah, the entire thing was taped.. and my mundu was about to "go down in history") And there really is no comeback from ur mundu falling off.. Even the lil kid Swapna would have laughed her matchbox size ass off! Thankfully, the mundu didnt let me down..
Alls well that ends well!
Now, for those not familiar with the mallu ways of things, mamas rule (yeah, thats me!) We are the ones who get to name the kid, to feed her her first food.. Basically if you are a mallu kid, better be good with your mama.. My sister was gung-ho about the name Swapna, and i liked it as well. She's named her Swapna after a close friend Swapna, whom she almost idolizes. So with mama's approval, the name was finalized, and i was excited at the prospect of being at the helm.. What i didn't realize was that where tradition had made me the take the 'Seat of Honour', it made me do so shirtless, and wearing a Mundu.. YIKES!! And wearing a trouser underneath just makes it look really awful.. So basically... When i was in the mundu, there wasn't a second line of defense, except at er.. at sensitive installations..
The ceremony was a simple one.. The bua puts on her ornaments.. I then take her name thrice in each ear after calling out Parvati into each ear first.. When i call out the name, my sister covers the other ear with a betel leaf, and once this is done, I announce the name to everyone else. Then i feed her some stuff mixed in milk.. more symbolically than anything else.. and after me, all the others take turns doing this, calling her by her name, all while i hold her.
Anyway, all this holding and shifting with my hands busy holding her had sent my confidence (about the mundu) for a walk, and standing up, all i could hope for was the mundu would stay out on my waist. The prospect of me doing a John-from-dostana was seeming increasingly imminent.. along with the ceremony ending up with an 'A' rating (Yeah, the entire thing was taped.. and my mundu was about to "go down in history") And there really is no comeback from ur mundu falling off.. Even the lil kid Swapna would have laughed her matchbox size ass off! Thankfully, the mundu didnt let me down..
Alls well that ends well!
Monday, July 27, 2009
Baked Beans
Now, i must apologize for posting another forwared mail. But fact is, this is sooo funny that by the time you get to the end of this, you'll be falling off your chairs... I strongly advise NOT reading this atop a tree or ladder ;)
Also, an apology for the rather er.. graphic descriptions here... And also, this should be the last forward I put up for a while. Here goes...
One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up eating baked beans, my all time favourite.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the aroma of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the dinner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly:
Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.' He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill!
I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than stinking cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: 'Happy Birthday!'!!
I nearly died!!
______________________________________________________________________
Saturday, July 25, 2009
V.I.Pees
There was a lot of activity in parliament over the past week with Chidambaram planning to review the security provided to VIPs. India has nurtered a VIP culture, where becoming a politician (in any of its flavous) gives you a lifetime of govt funded security.. Well, not so much govt funded coz all that money (atleast most of it) comes from our pockets.. Its shocking how so many people, of little or no significance get the best of protection.. Cops, commandos.. the works..
Circa Nov 2008.. I was touched when I read about Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan, who laid down his life for us... Pictures of him draped in the tri-colour while his mother, despondent and inconsolable wept her heart out, lurk in my memory, and come to haunt me often.. The valour and bravery of a man, from the most elite force in the country, was on display even as he breathed his last.. His death is a loss to this country.. Something i wished hadn't happened.. But sometimes... somewhere... deep inside i am glad he got a chance to become a martyr.. Because a brave Major like him dreams of laying down his life for the country.. And when he is instead made to run after beacon flashing vehicles opening doors and saluting people who have several criminal cases against them, his soul languishes... It is one thing to be pressed into service, protecting statesmen of repute.. And a totally different matter to be tailing politicians who are in politics to make money... There are countless other soldiers out there.. wishing that this humiliation of their skills ends and they get a chance to prove their mettle..
I was shocked when NDTV ran a programme on VIP security.. The number of personnel deployed for the secuity of some politicians defies all logic.. Like Shivraj Patil, for example, has more than 200 personnel deployed for his security.. If the 200 of them stand in a circle around him they'll cover half of Kalina... Now I can understand such a large number of personnel to protect someone like Jayalalitha, because of the much larger expanse (hehe!).. but this chaps lanky! Anyway, 200! and the government spends upto 50,000 on each one of them a day! Even Varun Gandhi has 30 guys protecting him, and all he had to do was to rant and rail..I have a hate speach handy.. And any time i feel threatened, i'll just scream it out at Shivaji Park and get 30 of my own!
There is also He-who-must-not-be-named-in-Mumbai who gets the best security for beating people black and blue, torching vehicles, and generally putting up a strong display of gunda raj..
Our man Chidambaram though has refused cover.. despite the fact that this review of VIP security means there are some 430 really pissed VIPs (Out of whom, 200 have little or no threat at all!) gunning for his head.. He seems to back himself to fold his mundu in half in a nano second and put in a 100m sprint that'd put Usain Bolt to shame in case any of these 430 decide to act on their anger...
PS: Got all the figures from here: http://www.ndtv.com/news/india/govt_reviews_security_for_vips.php
Circa Nov 2008.. I was touched when I read about Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan, who laid down his life for us... Pictures of him draped in the tri-colour while his mother, despondent and inconsolable wept her heart out, lurk in my memory, and come to haunt me often.. The valour and bravery of a man, from the most elite force in the country, was on display even as he breathed his last.. His death is a loss to this country.. Something i wished hadn't happened.. But sometimes... somewhere... deep inside i am glad he got a chance to become a martyr.. Because a brave Major like him dreams of laying down his life for the country.. And when he is instead made to run after beacon flashing vehicles opening doors and saluting people who have several criminal cases against them, his soul languishes... It is one thing to be pressed into service, protecting statesmen of repute.. And a totally different matter to be tailing politicians who are in politics to make money... There are countless other soldiers out there.. wishing that this humiliation of their skills ends and they get a chance to prove their mettle..
I was shocked when NDTV ran a programme on VIP security.. The number of personnel deployed for the secuity of some politicians defies all logic.. Like Shivraj Patil, for example, has more than 200 personnel deployed for his security.. If the 200 of them stand in a circle around him they'll cover half of Kalina... Now I can understand such a large number of personnel to protect someone like Jayalalitha, because of the much larger expanse (hehe!).. but this chaps lanky! Anyway, 200! and the government spends upto 50,000 on each one of them a day! Even Varun Gandhi has 30 guys protecting him, and all he had to do was to rant and rail..I have a hate speach handy.. And any time i feel threatened, i'll just scream it out at Shivaji Park and get 30 of my own!
There is also He-who-must-not-be-named-in-Mumbai who gets the best security for beating people black and blue, torching vehicles, and generally putting up a strong display of gunda raj..
Our man Chidambaram though has refused cover.. despite the fact that this review of VIP security means there are some 430 really pissed VIPs (Out of whom, 200 have little or no threat at all!) gunning for his head.. He seems to back himself to fold his mundu in half in a nano second and put in a 100m sprint that'd put Usain Bolt to shame in case any of these 430 decide to act on their anger...
PS: Got all the figures from here: http://www.ndtv.com/news/india/govt_reviews_security_for_vips.php
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Blog Award
It was a regular day at work.. which means i was bored, sleepy and eagerly looking out of the window hoping for a downpour that'd put 26-July to shame... Just so I can get out of this 'Hell with flourescent lights and centralized AC' i call office... With nothing better to do, i logged onto FB from my 'cell'..
Nupur Bhayani wrote on your wall
Umm.. Maybe i need to write something more about Aanchal I thought.. How much more can i cook up...
I havent really got any awards, and my trophy cabinet closely resembles Ajinkya Rahane's... So, understandably i was ecstatic and almost threw my mouse skywards in celebration... But whats a 'blog award'? Maybe she's on a panel or something.. Last i checked, she was a student, a blogger, a short story writer, a novelist, a poet.. All rolled into a pocket sized edition... And i was sure there was just about enough place to squeeze in a panelist in there as well..
I logged onto her blog to find the grand trophy awaiting me.. ... ... ...
A picture
An unpaid appearance in Sach ka Saamna and
An assignment to cough up 10 blogs i read...
10!!?? I read only one - mine!!
To quote from her blog...
So anyway... Here are 10 truths about me.... Well, more like 10 things that popped into my mind, which are true..
1. I am an engineering student from Vidyalankar Institute of Technology.. Not Vidyalankar Classes, but IoT... and no, thats not doing engineering 'private'...
2. I am the 3rd most lazy person.. After Mr. Breathless and Nupur that is... (she's given me an award for cryin-out-loud... Yes, that is an award! Anyway, the least i can do is not contest what she has to say about being lazy)
3. I used to dislike meetings.. Now i hate them!
4. The intelligent, attractive, beautiful (non 377-ers) ladies go weak in their knees when I am around
Darn... I can NEVER EVER pass that off as true, can I!!
so...
4. I love my music and listen to it for 4 or 5 hours a day... (No wise cracks here)
5. My hindi is pathetic and my english just about reaches the level of a 3rd grader... Conversations with novelists and umm.. Aanchal-ists have me reaching for the dictionary once every 29.93 seconds (on an average)
6. I hate my job (much like Chandler) but luckily don't need to stare at an ANUS (thats Annual Net Usage Statistics for the uninitiated) I have to stare at a person who is trying his very best to put me to sleep...
7. I love cars, which is only way to explain why i drive an Indica Diesel... (which is a brilliant car, if you planning to buy it from me..)
8. I started to blog because Aanchal thought i could write well and i wanted to prove her wrong. Well, so far so good.
9. I laugh and find reasons to laugh, coz i look better laughing than sulking...
10. I really appreciate Nupur picking my blog amongst the millions of other better blogs she reads...
Now, i don't have 10 blogs to put up here... So i give out 4
1. Timepass Of India - amazingly funny.. reminds me of my style of writing.. hehe
2. Aanchal - A wonderfully honest and refreshing blog.. wait.. or was it insightful and poetic?? Never mind, this ones from the heart.. Good stuff!
3. Nupur - (dunno if i can give this back to her... but anyway...) some of her posts are a little too long for me.. but she writes the best opening and closing paras ;)
4. Keshava - a total mixed bag this one.. posts range from urdu poetry to failed attempts in the kitchen, both of which i dont understand...
Congrats winners.. It was a bit by default, but then i read only the best :)
Nupur Bhayani wrote on your wall
Umm.. Maybe i need to write something more about Aanchal I thought.. How much more can i cook up...
hey ive given u a blog award.... pls chk mine to accept it!
I havent really got any awards, and my trophy cabinet closely resembles Ajinkya Rahane's... So, understandably i was ecstatic and almost threw my mouse skywards in celebration... But whats a 'blog award'? Maybe she's on a panel or something.. Last i checked, she was a student, a blogger, a short story writer, a novelist, a poet.. All rolled into a pocket sized edition... And i was sure there was just about enough place to squeeze in a panelist in there as well..
I logged onto her blog to find the grand trophy awaiting me.. ... ... ...
A picture
An unpaid appearance in Sach ka Saamna and
An assignment to cough up 10 blogs i read...
10!!?? I read only one - mine!!
To quote from her blog...
...list down 10 truths about yourselves and pass it on to 10 different people...!!!...and your wish will come true on the 3rd day of the next month.. Or else you will face bad luck for 3 yrs... ;)
So anyway... Here are 10 truths about me.... Well, more like 10 things that popped into my mind, which are true..1. I am an engineering student from Vidyalankar Institute of Technology.. Not Vidyalankar Classes, but IoT... and no, thats not doing engineering 'private'...
2. I am the 3rd most lazy person.. After Mr. Breathless and Nupur that is... (she's given me an award for cryin-out-loud... Yes, that is an award! Anyway, the least i can do is not contest what she has to say about being lazy)
3. I used to dislike meetings.. Now i hate them!
4. The intelligent, attractive, beautiful (non 377-ers) ladies go weak in their knees when I am around
Darn... I can NEVER EVER pass that off as true, can I!!
so...
4. I love my music and listen to it for 4 or 5 hours a day... (No wise cracks here)
5. My hindi is pathetic and my english just about reaches the level of a 3rd grader... Conversations with novelists and umm.. Aanchal-ists have me reaching for the dictionary once every 29.93 seconds (on an average)
6. I hate my job (much like Chandler) but luckily don't need to stare at an ANUS (thats Annual Net Usage Statistics for the uninitiated) I have to stare at a person who is trying his very best to put me to sleep...
7. I love cars, which is only way to explain why i drive an Indica Diesel... (which is a brilliant car, if you planning to buy it from me..)
8. I started to blog because Aanchal thought i could write well and i wanted to prove her wrong. Well, so far so good.
9. I laugh and find reasons to laugh, coz i look better laughing than sulking...
10. I really appreciate Nupur picking my blog amongst the millions of other better blogs she reads...
Now, i don't have 10 blogs to put up here... So i give out 4
1. Timepass Of India - amazingly funny.. reminds me of my style of writing.. hehe
2. Aanchal - A wonderfully honest and refreshing blog.. wait.. or was it insightful and poetic?? Never mind, this ones from the heart.. Good stuff!
3. Nupur - (dunno if i can give this back to her... but anyway...) some of her posts are a little too long for me.. but she writes the best opening and closing paras ;)
4. Keshava - a total mixed bag this one.. posts range from urdu poetry to failed attempts in the kitchen, both of which i dont understand...
Congrats winners.. It was a bit by default, but then i read only the best :)
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
English to Hindi Conversions
This is something i read on the net.. but its really funny, and i decided to share it here....
English to Hindi Conversions
Haven't you always wondered how "Americanisms" would sound like if they were translated literally to an average Indian on, say, the streets of New Delhi (or elsewhere)?
Have a nice day! ----- * Achcha din lo!
What's up? ----- *Uppar kya hai?
You're kidding! ----- *Tum bachcha bana rahe ho!
Don't kid me! ----- * Mera bachcha mut banaao!
Yo, baby! What's up? -----* Beti Yo, uppar kya hai?
Cool man! -----* Thandaa aadmi!
Don't mess with me, dude.----- * Mere saath gandagee mat karo, ek hustee.
Check this out, man! ----- * Iskee chaanbeen karo, aadmi!
She's so fine! ----- * Woh itnee baareek hai!
Listen buddy, that chick's mine, okay!?----- * Suno dost, woh choozaa mera hai, theek?
Hey good looking; what's cooking? ----- * Hey Sundari; kyaa pak raha hai?
Are you nuts? ----- * Kya aap akhrot hain?
Son of a gun.----- * Bachcha bandook ka.
And the best one is.....
General Body Meeting.... ----- *Saamanya Shaaririk Milan
C ya folks... -----(Dekhte hain doston) &
Keep in touch...... ----- (Chhoote Raho.....)
English to Hindi Conversions
Haven't you always wondered how "Americanisms" would sound like if they were translated literally to an average Indian on, say, the streets of New Delhi (or elsewhere)?
Have a nice day! ----- * Achcha din lo!
What's up? ----- *Uppar kya hai?
You're kidding! ----- *Tum bachcha bana rahe ho!
Don't kid me! ----- * Mera bachcha mut banaao!
Yo, baby! What's up? -----* Beti Yo, uppar kya hai?
Cool man! -----* Thandaa aadmi!
Don't mess with me, dude.----- * Mere saath gandagee mat karo, ek hustee.
Check this out, man! ----- * Iskee chaanbeen karo, aadmi!
She's so fine! ----- * Woh itnee baareek hai!
Listen buddy, that chick's mine, okay!?----- * Suno dost, woh choozaa mera hai, theek?
Hey good looking; what's cooking? ----- * Hey Sundari; kyaa pak raha hai?
Are you nuts? ----- * Kya aap akhrot hain?
Son of a gun.----- * Bachcha bandook ka.
And the best one is.....
General Body Meeting.... ----- *Saamanya Shaaririk Milan
C ya folks... -----(Dekhte hain doston) &
Keep in touch...... ----- (Chhoote Raho.....)
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